OricionSeis
i am lonely. are you there ?

take me to the sky

8:59 PM hias... today... no reply.. sooo sad... she din even replied my greeting.. wadever la... let her be busy on her results first.. hias.. maybe i should ask her whether she want to go to the S.H.E NKF concert together ?? hahaha perfect chance.. muhahaha.. then can send her home again... *hiak hiak* haha.. then got the s.h.e event at Cineleisure and the Airport.. dunno she want to go ornot.. hahaha.. later i choing too xiong she haf a wrong impression of me... haha. that will be soo cham... hias.... soo stressed... mus think of sumthin.. hahaha....

hias.. sooo bored.. nothin happened today... and the worst is she didnt even reply my sms !!! *sob* *sob* sian... hias... dunno how liao la... me sooo sad... mind blank blank.... dunno wad to write now... maybe 2molo will haf sumthin new.. haha... writing off now... bye~

4:32 PM whoa. i guess i juz had a shock of my life... haha.. i was very very very tensed up this morning and it was rather sian.. as in very dissapointed to hear bout my school's result.. hias.. but i am definitely glad that she scored a total of 13pts for her Olvl and with 2 bonus pts.. she can minus it off.. haha.. now she can go to her JC le.. muhahah.. which means.. haha.. she is now very happy la.. i gues... i not sure if i am meeting her later, maybe .. maybe not.. depending on her.. i dunno if she received my sms... the most we will meet 2molo afternoon or evening at her place.. haha... and the thing was... jesslyn scored 17pts !! hhahaha.. it was "the other way" round... haha.. anyway.. its the best for both of them.. hahaa... dunno hw to celebrate with her too... haha... now i can at least rest my heart... haha can fang xin le.. hahah.. at least i know she did better then me... muhahaha.. but hor i got 8pts leh.. hahah L1R2.. muhahaha... i think i lame.. L1R2.. she got 6pts.. muahhaa.. better then me also... *slap myself* hahaha she haha sooo clever.. so unexpected.. i tot she gonna get 17-19 like that.. got SRJC is not very prestigious as compared to JJC - . - !!! hahaha.. but she got 13.. maybe can go those SAJC or ACJC.. hahah.... but too far from her home la. she stay at AMK .. go there.. aiyoh.. sian half already.. hahaha.... yar... kkekek..

*going crazy.. feng kuai soon* hahaha.. luffing all the way manz.. haha.. lets see... i dunno wad i am going to do later too.. when i meet her.. i think the first thing will be to congrat her first.. then ask her wad she gonna do.. then later ask bout her family and stuffs.. hahaha.... hopefully .... on the event she could come.. so i can send her home again... hahahahaa !! and then on her birthday.. maybe can tell her the truth already... as in y i went round finding her... then show her the pic i taken secretly when i was in sec 2... hahaha.. maybe she will be touched.. hahhaa.. last time till now.... ahahhaaha.. ok la.. gonna write off now.. go and brainstorm wad i gonna do later or 2molo... hiak hiak... buh bye~ gotta go now.. ciao.. heeX hHahA

4:48 PM today was a terrible day for me.. i was rather sick.. and still attended school... durh.. wad other choice i haf.. hias.. couldnt concentrate except for physics.. cuz the topic was rather easy to understand.. while during english period.. i was totally un-motivated 2 study... it was like.. the weather was soo warm and i am sick and stuffs... hias... i dunno manz... it has been days since she replied my sms.. and i guess i am feeling equally stressed for her... i went through this process b4 and i know how it is like... and i think shes now very stressed... 2molo will be her last day in school in SRJC... i juz hope after 2molo... we can develop into very trusted friends.. i will need to communicate with her more often... hmm.. dunno can ornot sia... maybe my presence irks her... i dunno.. hmm... maybe i am thinking 2 much... but i know i have been looking for her for 3 yrs... and i admit ... between these 3 yrs.. i indeed fell for a ger b4 her.. but i believe its all in the past and i think i dun wish to talk about her anymore...

i have finally found her.. i know i have a picture of her... but where haf i misplaced it ?? hias.. i know that picture when i took of her.. she was giving that rather worried face.. haha.. so cute de... muz go and find the negetives... or i muz call and ask from that Oliver tan ... shucks.. take all my photos nv return one... so sian... she hasnt changed alot.. and i stll recognise her... cuz she left a very deep impression on me during 8th September 2001.. during our PDS Appreciation Ceremony... hias... i think becus of those freaks who was there... i couldnt really find her.. as those friggin friends of mine kept tellin me which ger was cute and all those.. which i wasnt interested in...

in my life.. i nv took any one for granted.. i cherished everyone around me.. and i know... it takes only 1 minute to end a life and 9mths to start all over again... and when i get angry for 1 minute.. i lose 60 seconds of happiness.... therefore.. i tried to be happy.. even since when i was looking for her ... it was looking for a needle in a hay sack.... but after 3yrs... i found her... and i was very very happy and not only i was very happy... i also found her so called "twin-sister" which was Jesslyn.. i mistook Jesslyn for her.. cuz they look alike.. i realised i made a mistake only when i asked about her Element.. as in Land Sea and Air.. and she told me that she belong to the Land element.. so i think i've got the wrong one.. and the last one will be her liao.. and no doubt i knew it was her i was looking for... the one in the Air Element.. we have many things in common.. which i found out for myself.. but i dunno if she realised it ornot.. maybe not la... i find her attractive in her own means... and she is very different from the other girls which i have met in within this 3yrs.. that could be the reason y i cant find the shadow in the ger i used to like alot.. its becuz she dun possess the character and quality inside similar like her.... but i think it all over now... i know.. now.. i wan to love and protect her with all my life.. and i know.. she the woman i wan to spend the rest of life with.... to give her the all of me.. and to give her my everything... but will she ever know my feelings towards her ? hias.. thats the problem ... its onli the begining.. and it will take months and even years to come to such a thing.. i juz hope everything will be very smoothly.... i though she knew and sensed that i liked her.. and that could be the reason she has been avoiding me... i thought she knew my life revolved around her... and that could be the reason on y she has no been responding my sms... i have soo mani things to tell her... a heartful of words left unspoken.. i hope my soul will break this silence..

she couldnt see my flame burned for her... and i am in the wrong and to be blamed for not finding her sooner... if onli i could met her earlier.. things would be totally different.... communication was the main thing we couldnt achieve and i think we muz do sumthin about it... maybe i could ask for her tel, no. ?? and ask bout whether she have any elder brother or sister ?? hias.. thats very impt.. but if shes the eldest... i thank God !! things would be soo much simpler... i hope i am not dreaming.. it took me 3yrs to find her .. and i am not going to let go... i am going to fulfill one of my goals and in the end... achieve.. achieve my purpose in this world.... saying it isnt so.. tell me your not leaving.. say you changed your life now.... its not yet over.. if you wanna know.. i dun wanna let go.....

i think thats all i have to write today.. i dunno will there by anyone to visit this site.. but i am gonna write it anyway.... and i know... the feeling inside me now is the truth.. and i have never in my life felt like this b4... and i am totally serious about it... i wanna live the rest of my life with u.. yue yun... i know u wun see this any way.. therefore... .. i guess theres nothing for me to worry about.... i will write off now... good bye 2 all....

12:58 PM shucks.. ytd nite i fell sick.. got high fever and got flu.. hias... sooo irritating.. suddenly fall sick for no friggin reason... ytd... i guess i made my choice.... its her that i want to protect and love..

she was my words in a life time.. ever ending come true.. i guess i should have told her... i tot she knew... she said i took her for granted.. this is the last thing i would do... i never understand it ... i tot she knew... i tot she knew my world revolved around her.. my life like burn for her alone.. but she couldnt see the flame only myslelf to blame.. i should have known.. i should have known......

a heartful of words life unspoken.. now that we are through.. i tell my soul to let the silence broken.. i tot she knew... i tot she knew my world revolved around her.. my life like burn for her alone.. but she couldnt see the flame only myself to blame.. i should have known.. i should have known......

she was my words in a life time.. ever ending come true.. i guess i should have told her... i tot she knew...
but now... left in such a condition of health.. it will take me days before i could even see her.... i know she the one i want to protect and love... .

i know that my life burned for her alone... but she couldnt see the flame... and theres only myself to blame.. i know i cannot do it.. but its a choice i have to make.. i have no choice but to turn the other party down.... and i stand aside... and let her live her own life.. live the life she always wanted to be.. without me by her side.. and without my presence in her life.. i hope i can definatley win her heart one day... and nv leave her.. by my side.... today is such a day.. that i will forget.. in which i have made up my mind... and a day which i have fallen deep into the hands of illness and hopelessness...... i shall reign supreme over my health when my Light shines back... hias... i hope u can hear me from her.... theres so much words left unspoken.....

10:00 PM ooo.. today is the 23rd of feb. haha.. 2days after the event.. and i am still recovering from my shock... my comp juz crashed and then.. it was rather sickening... i juz got my comp up after 2 grueling hours to PKing with the computer... today i got some news which is rather disturbing and i think i dun wanna talk bout it too.. rather good to news to me.. but i think it came a little to late.. if it came a little earlier.. things might change... hias.... haha.. anyway... i will have to look into this....

yue yun.. today din reply my sms.. i think shes busy la.. tats all.. shes having her rock climibing thingy and some of her school stuffs.. haha and the O results releasing are round the corner.. hias... of course i would definitely be stressed over this... actually.. after the first meeting.. i think i want to meet her again... and i am thinking on how to go bout doing it.. haha.. lets say.. if the results are going to be released on this coming friday.. then i hope i can go down to her place and meet her and her place and we talk ... hias... i hope its possible then... i realli miss her.. and its like onli 2 days ?? and i am already starting to miss her... i dunno y i am feeling this.. its the first time i am feeling this... i have never felt like this before... i hope things would be better and hope she wun find me a nuisence.. haha.. i noe i spelt that word wrongly.. i am rushing to finish the blog asap as i am gonna leave this comp to be updated from that darn Microsoft webby.. darn.... damn shucks.. psst.. i think yue yun iss really cute.. haha.. thats wad i think la... i dun care whether shes tomboy or not la.. as long in my eyes she cute.. and tats all..... i dun care wad other thinks of her.. muhahhaha..

i also dunno who will get to see this and stuffs.. but i think and i know there will be people who will come here and look at them though.. today fereen fell sick.. and i am rather worried bout her health la.. freddy's sick these few days and my classmates are falling sick one by one... aiyoh.. they are overstressed la.. i think .. .haha.. fereen will be coming to school 2molo.. tats wad i heard from her..sick already still wanna choing school.. thats soo admirable.. and of course.. commendable... hhahaah.. give her a reward for doing that.. and thats.. hahah i present her one song.. hahaha.. no la... kidding la.. i think later she landed in hospital.. haha.. high blood pressure..

later i am gonna change this bloody skin... it time i learnt to let go what has happened in the past and start anew and afresh... i have learnt a lesson and course i have to get on with life... i know i can live without her and i will be better without her.... with everything in place already... all i want is to lead a peaceful life full of wonder and colours.. and how am i gonna achieve that ?and that will be a qns i will need to ask myself every night... its a choice i have to make... its either her or her..... and i am very confused now... y does this have to happen ?? i rather choose not know the truth and be kept in the darkness forever rather then i know i truth now and i suffer this much.. i really want to be together with someone i know rather then i always be confused over this matter....

its hard to force pple to like u.. but theres soo much things happening outside that even me i cant even figure out myself... i know i have to face the facts now.. and i will face the reality.... its either her or her.. therefore ... i decided to give myself 1 week to make a choice.... so i think i will spend equal amount hours of time with the both of them to see and determine their true character.. and therefore conclude which will suit me better....

i hope after today i will be clearer of my actions and therefore make my own choice without being regretting over my actions... *sigh**sigh*...... gotta sign off now.. bye then~



3:30 PM today.. its the 22nd feb.. the feeling cant go away.. and i cant get her off my mind.. her image has deeply embedded inside my mind.. y am i feeling this ? i think i juzt want to love and protect her.. not to lust after her.. and i think... its the type of mindset i am having all this while.. i want to protect those i love and treasure... yesterday was the first time for me to meet her.. of course i wasnt prepared at all.. and i was rather anxious... and i definately know she will never have the chance to look at this blog... *hiak* i have come such a long wait for this day to come... i remember in my days when she and i was in the performace in ndp... haha.. she wasnt very active as in very famous in that cohort... but i think i paid rather much attention on her... i find her rather attractive then most girls.. very different.. i guess.. i think .. cuz i think its juz the first meeting... i cant really know her very well.. and i guess its juz the starting and definately i hope things will turn out well..

a friendship is a mind in 2 bodies.. that is sumthin very interesting i learnt today.. and the best way to learn life is to lose many things... i totally agreed with that.. cuz in this process of life.. indeed i lost many things.. from loved ones and of cuz in terms of both material and emotional aspects... i always wished for someone who could be there when i needed her most.. and of course i wish i can be her someone who she can rellied on... and therefore i hope.. not to be juz her so called friend who is juz there to provide her vital information on juz her idol.. i find it rather absurd.... its not suppose to be... so i guess.. i muz find ways to communicate with her.. and shes not those realli well-off type as in able to maintain a cable or DSL connection.. shes using a 56kpbs connection all this while.. and i am always communicating with her using smses.. and my sms again.. exceed my 300 limit... again. this time it hit the record of 598sms in a mth... hias... i really wished we could meet every week like ytd.. wouldnt it be nice ? hias.. if onli we can be like this....

i also know.. that in this world.. theres no such thing as eternal love.. but i know.. i am the type who can live u for a lifetime ... sadly.. i await the day to arrive.. the first meeting was definately a memorable one.... its well.. really very memorable one.. if only i think i can put it in words i would.. but i think.. that feeling.. it cannot be totally expressed in words... that feeling, in short term.. i think it its.. i have fallen for her.. i think... its the so-called love @ first sight.. cuz.. i think the feelin that i had 3yrs ago.. suddenly revived and i think... and i thank god.. i have finally found her and also met her in a very special manner.. in the mrt station.. haha... that short short period.. less then an 1hr.. was like such a dream... it was rather short and i think i couldnt ask for more too... but one thing is that.. i knew where she stayed already.. at least.. i dunno of what she thinks of me.. thats rather impt.. she onli told me that i changed alot since the 3 yrs we have not met.. and she remembered lots of things bout me last time.. as in when i was still in me Sea days.. haha.. i was rather shocked.. so i guess.. she did pay attention on me also.. haha.. cuz i remembered and confirmed i did not tell her bout my Sea days and some other things which are related to NCC.... so i guess she know some things from and about me also.. i dunno how will this relationship last and how far it will go.. but i definatley hope she is feeling better from her blisters she had ytd .. when i saw her had trouble walking.. i am realli heartbroken.. hias.. y muz that stupid ncc torture them like this.. hias.... she mentioned: i realli want a friend whom i can share... what does this mean ? i realli want to know what does this sentence mean.. cuz its rather profound to me... i juz to want to love and protect her .. and give her things she wants and give her happiness in life... now.. how,what,when should i do ?? i know i will get her sumthin special for bday and that thing is sumthin she always wanted.. but i dunno... hw will things go... hias.... i realli find her very very attractice in my eyes.. how should i go and develop all these ???? i realli hope for those who have read this.. pls give me some advice.. hias.. i dun wish to be loney animore.... it hard be alone and its worse to cling on the edge mid-air with out any support from either sides.... i will risk anything to protect her from anyone who dare to challenge me....i will do anything to protect her.. even if it means to lose a frienship and lose a buddy, lose an arm or lose everything... i will risk it all in exchange for her safety..... i sign off now.. bye then... it has been a dream for me to meet her. and i have fulfilled a dream.. and i muz push myself forward ... towards the dream of loving and protecting her.....

9:15 PM today is 21st Feb, the day i will nv forget this lifetime... its today that i finally meet up with Yue yun.. all i remembered that i took peeps at her when i was in my sec 2 ncc days in ndp.. i think she was one of the girls that i was attracted to...

today.. when i saw her.... i was attracter to her.. shes still so attractive to me.. i guess.... cuz when i saw her, i was rather anxious and was very very kan chiong... dunno wad 2 tell her... and today.. we met for the first time after 3yrs... we chated and she even allowed me to send her home.... woooooooooooooooooooooooo sooooo happy.. i am soooooooo happy manz.. and shes sooo cute juz now.. but when i see her walking sooo pain i was soo heartbroken.. cuz this morning she was havin ncc event at HQ.. and she had blisters on her toes.. ... soo heartbroken manz.. i think she now sleep liao la.. she also very tired from the event juw now.. and when she saw the s.h.e things.. haha.. her face soo cute sia... hahaha .. little girl drooling when she saw the chocolates.. haha.. exactly the same.. haha.. i am sooo happy today... too bad she din send me her pic.. next time i bring camera and take with her.. hahah... sooo cute... i sumtime also dunno y her friends call her tomboyish one... haha.. shes rather gentle today la.. haha... maybe too tired la.. haha...

yue yun...so cute... i muz work hard ... jia you !! hahaha... may i find new hopes and a new Ray of Light shines on me... i muz work hard... no matter what happens.. i muz endure to the end.. even if it means everything.. i will do it for u... even if its not within my power.. i will do anything...

me gotta go now and enjoy my nite... bye now...

Miles, miles to go
Before I can sail
Before I can nail my love for you to sleep
Oh darling
I get miles, miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear me laugh again

Yue yun.. believe in me.. give me a chance.. its not good-bye, its not yet over and its juz the beginning and How can I be smiling like before...i don't wanna let go so say it isn't so....

bye


4:37 PM today is 20th Feb. 2004. 17yrs ago, i was bored into this mortal world. with everything been made for me... everything was such a dream... and that moment my jouney started... for 17yrs i haf walked on this face of the earth.... i haf seen almost everything wad any 17yr would see... and haven been thorugh... I suffered hardships, sadness, horror, pain and happiness... seen lots of pple in my life, and went through lots of things...hw can i smile like b4 ? theres nothin i can to change the fact.. its not over.. and i dun wanna let go.. i wish i nv found you... Will I be strong enough to carry on.... its all happening now and will happen in the future...I get miles, miles to go,Before anyone will ever hear me laugh again....

i find it hard to accept some things.. its becuz.. i find it hard to give up.. its not that i cant learn to give up... its juz that... i have given up too mani things in the past and i wun allow myself to give anything up without trying very hard...i know its hard to be together.. but its like.. i think i rather... 4get.. dun talk bout things animore.

today its my bday.... happy to say.. its the first time i received presents from my female friends.. haha.. i know last time in that wrechted class of 2n1 and 1n1.. those female classmates are juz sooo anti-social and soo sexist one... and btw.. in that class.. its proven that they are the weaker sex.. tats all.. sooo proud of themelves... haha.. but anyway.. my friends i haf now.. are soo good to be with.. soo supportive except for a few who are always soooo anti-social.. and the best thing was like fereen and weiling remembered my bday... and jilian and jiaying and the who ar ? 4got her name.. awwwwwwwwwwwwww they were soooooooo sweet to remember my bday... such a rarity that they remember my name.. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... *muack muack*

today was a rahter memorable one.. so nice... except for a few moments that i feel soo fustrated about... 4get it ... its always the same thing that spoils my mood... .and i find it rather disturbed... pple avoid becuz of some silly reasons which i cant figure out myself ?? Its rather refered as Anti-social as when u onli keep a small group of friends with u and neglect the rest.... i think pple who belong to this category lack self-confidence...

i know u've been hurt..... why didnt u give others a chance to love you once more ? u gave the world up... without even trying.. and tats soo... i dunno how to describe... give yourself another chance to love another and let another love u in return.... its the hurt u experience, and its the lesson u took and life.. theres a story of a young man with a perfect wonderful heart and a old man with a torn and tattered, bleeding and a ugly heart.... i am sure u heard it b4... each haf to go through this.. its hw each takes it in life.... i know its hard for me to charge to do things which might make you change your thinking and i know there will not be a day when we can walk 2gether along the streets and into the cinema as a pair....

hiaz.. i think after i reached home.. my mood damn moody... i think tats all for today la.. i gotta sign off now... and extremely moody angry and lots of crappy mood.... sign off le.. bye

6:21 PM OH.. today was rather a good and bad day la.. cuz.. its like.. first thing in the morning, i've got a award of best pupil suggestion.. haha.. rather shocked.. but haha.. i think i gave Mdm Zainah extra work load.. and that means... LESS homework ! hahaha.. isnt that great ?? but i was later caught by DM for my hair.. i find it rather shitty.. my hair was nice okay.. and still wanna me go cut.. shit .. sooo fustrated.. but aniway.. i have my hair cut.. not nice one .... but no choice.. gotta live it.. after the Olvls.. its time to keep hair and dye my hair back to the Hybrid Red.. muhahah.. the colour which no salon can figure it out... hahahaha... Metalic Sliver Red... but anyway... 2molos my birthday...and lets see.. i got $$ yeaya !!

at last !! i got $$ liaoz... and i can go buy my cds and stuffs.. if got $300.. muhaha.. i got my computer manz.. haha.. then later buy upgrades for my Xbox... mhahaha.... than i will haf a better computer then this manz.. haha.. and not forgetting .. my woonderful sound system.. my own studio i promised myself.. hahhaa.. i wan a studio !! hahah.. but i will need to remove tons of things from my room.. hehee... sooo confused today.. its a choice i haf to make between 2 roads... but i guess.. i din take both roads as i was sooo confused.. both equally good, and both share the almost same character.. soooo shit... hiaz... soo confused, maybe the scare left behind by the previous one was too deep that i dun wan to love another... too deep to recover.. i think.. thats y i hesitate....... i know she will never accept me.. and i know.. i tried 3 times and all failed and i know that with that someone in your heart.... i wil never haf a chance to haf a piece of your heart.. and nv have a piece of you.... its in you that i find happiness.. its in u.. that i find love and LIght... but now... u have dashed all my hopes and dreams.... its now me... all alone in dark... the Light has been swallowed... and since u said it to me... my heart died... and my love and heart has followed the soul.. all died and nv return.. nv revive and nv recover from the hurt u haf imposed on me....

now that i am left like this.. it seems like... Love is nothin to me anymore.. cuz i am unable to find anyone like you.... i cannot find anyone which i can find resemblence to... theres no one can replace u in my heart.. and u know it... u find it hard to accept cuz u find it hard to communicate and we hardly haf things to say to each other... u have been avoiding me all this while... and i find it rather dissapointing.. .. .. .. Y u bother to bring YY and Jess up when yur the main focuz... sumtimes.. its really heart-pain.. to talk 2 u.. cuz i change topic when i tok bout u... .... its soo sad... its sooo sad things haf to turn out this way...

i juz hope... we can give ourselves 1 chance to love each other right from the start and we start it all over again.... hiaz.. i think it will not happen.. u will not fall for a person like me whos soo stupid and dumb.. tats all.. u prefer pple who are much taller, much smarter and much shyer then me.. tats all... 4get it.... i think i am really a failure.....

I am left alone now... nothin and no-one to depend on.. everyones haf their own life and i am alone. .. left alone to discover myself under the hollow time of space and darkness... Its You i find the Light and Its u that i Find Love.. now without you... i juz hope i can find the Light and the 2nd True Love that awaits and lurks within the darkness of time and space.. slowly waiting for her to reveal... and even though i haf found the 2nd one.... the scar that u left behind will 4ever be a scar and 4ever be a memory inside me and my soul.....

I thank God for giving me such a friend with such wonderful qualities and i am glad that she has brought colours into my life.. Without her.. there wouldnt be me today... she has brought me into the new world and i shall cherish her... I thank God for bringing her to me.. and allowing us to meet in such a special place, special time and of course a special occasion.. and i know God will bless this friend of mine and will shine Light onto her, guilding her to the path of Righteous.

I thank God. Althought Fate brought us together in a very very unexpected way and manner... but we are destined to be apart and destined not to be together.. Its Fate that we met, and its Fate that we were once Friends. but we are destined to be apart and we are destined to meet other pple in out lives which do not suit us... Its Fate that arranged us to meet and know each other.. and soon.. its that I didnt cherish the Fate and Destiny i once had.... and i truely regretted it.. and i know.. nothin i do will bring it back and nothing i do will u come back to me.. and nothin i do will make us together again.. cuz in our hearts.... we know... that Fate has brought us together and Destiny tore us apart in both out hearts and souls...

Till the day i die, i will bring your memories with me.. leaving only the unhappy ones on this mortal place... cuz i know.. in the next World which awaits me.. its Happiness that i will find. Its where i know.. my memories will be there inside me.. forever.... In mortal. theres no forever, theres no eternal love... i know we've been hurt umpteen times.. its time that we give each other chances to love each other and care for each other...

Although Yue Yun was the other one i mentioned that i found the Light and Love on... but its not Fate and Destiny that brought us together.. but Luck is... it was juzt mere luck that we met and we became friends... i juz hope things will turn out well.. and i hope.. WF, i wish u good luck in your future endeavours and hope may Fate and Destiny bring yout happiness..... Goodbye....

3:57 PM Hias... monday was Total Defence day.. and it was like... ok la.. din expect much lo.. cuz its the same every year lo.. nothin exciting la.. haha.. then it was actually Sunday !! haha.. i celebrated my birthday with Tony Sun !! hahaha.. cuz i shared the same bday as his !!! 20th Feb.. ooo its coming man..i cant stand it man.. soooo exciting. hahah.. then got my cd signed.. i 4got to tell him that i shared the same bday as his.. muahhaha.. but anyway.. it was rather "FUN" la.... haha.. wad ever man... today sooo boring lo.. nothin happened also.. sooo normal.. nothin much to say too... juz i think its rather irritating lo... everyday going through the same thing.. soo boring... haha.. sian... la... haha and its like 4pm now ? haha.. anyway.. i am kinda bored.. very very bored... i miss her.. and i miss her.... and theres sooooooooo mani Hers... and i miss them all.. cuz long time nv talk 2 them already.. haha..tats y..... WF.. seeems to be cold 2 me... YY to busy.... Jess the same... and hias... alone again.... *Sob**Sob* how i wish theres someone by my side always..... always be there when i needed her support most.. and be there to accompany her when she needs me... i think that.. she juzt dun need me thats all... and the rest? i think i am juz their ordinary Hi Bye friends thats all... wad to do manz... its all part of Life.. its how i look at it.. but hey C'mon... how can i look for a ger whos older then me for 1yr.. hhahha.. very sickk la.. but can look into it *hiak hiak* but i think the same age or younger would be better manz.. hahahaha.. more easier to handle.. hahah... ok lo.. gtg manz.. juz got home and i needa rest.. sooo tired..buaiz !

8:31 PM hias.. today, was the WORSt DAY YET !!... W.O.R.S.E one yet.. very very very irritated... its because today... i went to Peicai for my ncc training routine... very happy at first.. cuz get to see my cadets.. but this time.. i think its high time that they turned their backs on me.... today... for no friggin reason, i got shamed... and hey.. c'mon.. in the entire 5yrs of my ncc career, yur command... Marcus.. suxs like nobody elses in the entire NCC history of 103yrs... first thing.. in the entire command of 5 words... non can be heard clearly.. u think u jay chou ar ? mumbling there... shout also cannot shout... anyway.. u are juzt another 2nd Sg cockroach... and btw.. i have NV been such a low ranking Specialist ya... so dun bother to tell me yur the "close-to-be" best trainee... i pui~ such standard also want to show off ?? haha.. u buzz off la... wait till u see my JVS bois.. i think.. even my part A's can give better commands then u... haha.. soo louay man... and summore u are a 2SG.. u dare to scream at a S.SSG / MSG ar ? dun u have shame on u ? did u ever scream at ur DM like this ?? i have already given u face.. dun think u can play with fire with a MSG ok ? and dun be the next one to eat my pace stick... i tell u.. u will be the next one to land in the Medical centre.. i promise... u seen how i treat my cadets.. u better not try me... i give u face cuz u were my best cadet(s) once.... damn furious on such impudent fools..... soo young yet want to play punk... i think u go home and play yur barbie dolls man... wahahaa.... oops.. din mean to disclose ur secret..... muhaha.. and by the way.. all thanks to you.. u are making me go extremely evil...

after u.. comes Mr Tan Hock Qwee Oliver... hmmm lets see.. did i get ur name wrong ? hmmm lets see... I DUn care realli ? cuz u know y ??? u sux nards man.... suxo... for the 5yrs of my ncc career.. handling both top and new units.. i have nv seen and worked with such in-co-operative officer and such a cunning one yet.... now that i have seen your colours... i think ... u dun deserve my respect as an officer... so what if ur SAF officer... in ncc.. ur an NCC officer.. get it right... the entire unit will fall and crumble under yur command.... i have led units to glory.. and all thanks to their officers and specialists who heed my advice not to follow the new training manual.. and u ?? haha.. gulible enuff to believe the manual... Teamwork ? Leadership ? can they be developed by playing games which are both silly and not "acedemically-efficent" ? forget it man... u are juz another idiot in ncc.. wasting my time and ncc resources..... u led the unit as though u run a child-care centre... and sorry and sad to say... it looks like an child-care centre already... and nothing can change the fact unless u heed my advice.... your instructors are low in morale, your part C cadets are overwhelming u... your Part Bs are following their Part Cs seniors... i think.. soon.. ur unit will become soooooooooo "liberal" till it becomes a "Army Child Care Centre" its up to you to believe it or not man... i have seen soo much progress in other units and i have great confidence in them that they will be improving by the ranks in times to come.. and lets see.. and hws peicai gonna be ? haha i think its gonna be like some forgotten units in ncc man... maybe u will one day be enlightened that my advice can help u... and when that time comes.... u can find me.. but maybe, most probably, thinking.... should be... supposedly.... i will not help u.. cuz i think... i din help me alot... i think i dun need to be yur dog juz u for saving me frm that Angeline's crisis.... partly, i owe my success to her.. and definately.. i owe u a favour... but i have repaid it by attending the trainings when u needed the auxiliary manpower. forget it.. i think .. from today onwards...i shall not interfere all ur unit matters unless i am ordered by the Commander to do so... so if u wan me back.. talk 2 my commander la hor ? u know who lor... Lieutenant Colonel Reuben John. talk 2 him.. if u dare... i think u will tremble upon seeing his rank manz... lol.... muhaha.. gd luk in yur unit endeavors man.. i am flying back to my fortress of JVS lo.... muhaha.. where my pride and honor lives and resides...

Today is Valentine... din go out.. cuz all of them wanted to go the Night Safari to disturb those poor tourists and after that they wannted to go some lame places la.... so i think.. i rather stay at home and rest.... hias... i think the whole day... i chatted with WF lor... gave her my 100% attention sia.. haha.. summore outside during training also sms.. i seems like nv die b4 sia... hhahaha... 4get it la.. i also heck care my officer le... she more impt then the officer... muhaha... stay at home.. feed the 2 little rabbits, feed the fishes, watch tv then tah dah.. i am here.. typing the blogs and stuffs... den good lo.. WF went out with her cousins as my cousins is either in Camps or gooo dating la... some runaway to honeymoon liaos lor... left me here.. along here.. dangling at home ... waiting to die and face the 4 walls... theres one saying in chinese: translated" raise head see cockroaches, bow head see rats" thats the exact scenario lo... sian sian... haha.. i asked WF.. will u be mine... guess wad she said.. i will muahhaha... i almost got the wrong meaning manz... i also dunno wad she meant by.. I will... juz now got soooo excited that i almost banged onto the lamp-post.... haiyoh.. got soo excited until i read the 2 words after it.. "Lol" ... hey wad was they supposed to mean ar ? haha.... chey man... haiyoh... haha.. lets see, My Bday coming soon sia...

... IF she sooo fast.. din even think.. like that say... muahha,i will be soooo happi till i kiss everyone in sight... hahah chey.. but i think she kidding la.. where got such good tai ji one.. suddenly soo lucky ? .. muahha.. i muz be dreaming man... but to be frank... i did mentioned bout YY and Jesslyn... i think we are fated to be friends for YY and Jesslyn.. as in.. c'mon face the facts.. Jesslyn is leaving SG to Aus for her studies.. while YY is busy with her papers and school assignments... but i think its better be friends la... me now ... sooo neutral... so hard to think and understand one... i think i have paid too much attention on WF till i neglect my poor friends in school... hhaha.. i think not la.. each have their own lives.. i think its better i 2 live the life i wan it to be.... but to be very frank.... she and Wc is the most-understanding friends i haf. while YY and Jesslyn are my super-open-minded friends... haha.. and also fereen... my wonderful bestest female buddy... haha..can call her brother la... den she call me sister... muhahaa... very weirds one... cuz we are both weirdos... haha.. at first ... i used to be very fond of WF one... i think ... i also dunno now lor.. juz friends la.. she treats me... so treat her as friend also.. lor... i also cannot treat her better then friends.. if not she will complain this and there.. then later say this and that... sumtimes she is juzt sooo interesting that i realli wish to understand her more.... shes sooo interesting ... full of interesting things.. not like fereen.. aiyoh.. can predict her moves one.. boring manz.. haha.. but i guess... things will turn out to be the same answer and she will say and ask the same thing over and over again.. and of cus, she will repeat the sentence : eh, u not tired ar ? for the 3rd time lor... hiayoh... betta dun think i am 4getful manz.. cuz i can remeber lots of things one... esp her things... haha.. dunno y lehz.. hahah... but if she gets to see this.. i will be in deep deep deep trouble.. she will kill me for sure... haha.. i juz find her adorable lor.. tats all.. and she keeps being humble and say her own bad things... i dunno y.. no self-confidence at all... hias. i dunno why she likes this also... but she has her own thinking and ideas... thats very very special.. not like some pple.... i say 1.. she say 1.. i dun like man.. like wad like tat... i dun like... i like pple who have their own opinions and ideas....

Ok la.. in conculsion. i think today.. was 50% shit day and 51% wonderful.. all thanks to WF.. all thanks to her.. for keeping me accomapanied by sms for the entire day.. if not.. i would be salted fish.. or dead fish in the school and mrt.. ok ... i shall stop here.. and thanks for listening ~

9:41 PM HA-Ha-ha, at least today wasnt as boring as ytd's afternoon.... today i went to NYP with school.. haha.. it was rather interesting.. and they were like trying to brainwash us with things like: Study 4mths, 2mths holidays. and no need to wear uniforms and stuffs.. haha.. and gave away free gifts. haha... its was rather interesting for the whole trip, and i realised that time passes soooo fast for 2day. Din really see much juz now cuz of the disorientated guide.... *sigh* if not i could take more pics with the camera.. too bad i cant.. haha...

Ytd nite was rather interesting as it was the first time that "WE" spoke on the phone for such a long time.. cuz the last time.. i think our conversations dun last for more then 10mins la... haha.. and ytd... i think it was more then 30mins.. haha.. good la.. at least can hear her voice... hmmm.. dun ask who is she... hahaa.... *grinz* i know things couldnt go back as wad it used to be... so i think i dun wish to start all over again... but i hope.. things can turn out fine and good anyway... haha... she din wan to call today.. guess tonite will be rather quiet la.. haha.. if not will be noisy here... as in we will tok bout things again la..rather then type and type soooo boring...

and today was the BEst DAY YET !! Cause Mdm Zainah AKA Mdm China.. said... we are not going to take the Oxford Standard English paper.. hahaha.. we taking the Cambridge paper.. hha.. soo good.. but we will be the last batch of pple taking it.. cuz the Exp. pple will be the first guinea pigs for the Oxford Paper this year... *hiak hiak hiak* hmm.. thats the best thing yet.. for today at least... and i think i am getting very very very irritated by some people in my class la.. they are getting overboard... *sigh* things start to change alot.. so different... maybe i changed la.. or is they changed ? i realli hope for that answer... oh.. wadever manz...

juz now had the repeat telecast of the American Idols.. then there was the William Hung thingy... oh.. manz... he danced like an..... haha.. wad 2 describe ? hmm... actualli no comments.. he did his best and he din haf any regrets la.. thats the best attitude yet... muhahaha.... haha... isnt that great ? haha.. but the thing is that when pple start to imitate him.. it gets irritating.. but sumtimes its rather entertaining.. but now i think.. i think its rather silly la.. bored of it manz.. hahaha.. wad to do...

and then... i think theres nothin for me now.. kinda outta words already.. and its like...my brains blank.. nothin left to extract out.. ok.. i will stop here.. for now... and 2molo i will continue.. muz prolly will haf more things to write bah.. i think .. keke... ok bye lor.... =]

8:45 PM HIAS.. today.. soo bored.. the weather so warm... today i had my investiture... haha.. still ok la.. took that friggin badge which looked like a librarian badge.. -.-! hias wad to do... i brought my camera to school and took a few pixs la.. then it was like, i din like my day today la... cuz theres this freak.. who likes to sabo me... and i dun really like him because of his character... and i am not the only one already.. sadly.. i think his just a jerk who likes to act cute in front of gers and then like hais.. wad la... i juz dun feel like to be friends with him la... wadever...

but in the end.. i din do really much today anyway... its juz that i am partly moody over the 5566 case.. whereby people already start camping 10 days before the event ? i am very fustrated why singaporean students have to go all this juz for their idols... its soo disturbing.. even those taiwan pple dun do that... hias.. then summore... BAH.. wadever.. they are juz another bunch of freaking idiots who always camp... i dunno wad are their parents thinking ... hw can they let such things happen ?? hias.... 4get it man....

then juz now.. i saw this variety show.. there was this auntie, she was dared for an amount of NT$10,000.. guess wad she was dared to do... She was dared to take a HUGE tin biscuit cover.. walk up to the gangster whose hand and arm was filled with dragons tattoos... and to give him a whack on his head..... and She did... haha.. the best thing was that man was sooo furious till that co-host needed to whack his own head and give him NT$2000 to send him off.. haha.. then the whole scene was hell... hahaha.. dunno man.. haha.. 2molo's only thursday.. lucky theres this NYP tour 2molo,... muhahaha... so can skip mock tests and remedials.. haha... and i think 2molo will.. WIlll i hope be a better day.... i really hope that my days are always wonderfull... but too bad lehz.. cannot.. almost everyday is hell... anyway... i dunno hw long i will last man... everyday.. every minute passes so fast.. and now.. its already 11th Feb... soon it will be the "O" lvl registration... hias... sooo stressed.. no MAA no anything.. hias.. how i wish i can do sumthin with the one i rrealli liked... but seems like i will not have the chance to do so la...

In my life... i am juz another 17yr old.. i did things which i think it was totally silly. and that was such a memorable time... i dunno hw i changed, i know i changed slowly... now i know what is forget... maybe its her that has changed, maybe its her that has changed slowly. maybe its fate, maybe its part of growing up.. no matter how wish i could keep my memories... they still fade over time.... i am not a 16yr old animore.. theres things i cant keep. and theres memories i cant keep. because i changed before i knew it, because you changed before u knew it. maybe its the past... she didnt know how beautiful she was to me.. she take as i am transparent.... i dun care hw fast the world changes... it was such a naive past... it was such a innocent past and experience... maybe it was juz part of growing up. hw i hope we can meet again... and relive the love that we once desired.. your special smile.. maybe i cannot accept the new you.. maybe its fate, maybe its destiny. maybe i dun haf the feeling anymore.. and no matter how i miss you.. we cannot go back again... hw i wish i can be with you.. i know its that past.. i know its all in the past.. but its in my heart... i know the old u... the previous u... .... ....

who says a gers heart i hard to guess and they need summoe by their sad.. who say flowers are grown to be sold... who says a women heart is hard to understand and needs summone to love them ? Youth is the best and cutest in you......

Hope my life and truly make a difference in my life... When i am down and out.. i juz hope you can be there for me... be there to support me.. when ur down and out... i can be there and share your woes..... i juz need u by my side.... .... *sigh* such a sad and long day for me... hias..... gtg now... bye hope 2 write in 2molo...

7:42 PM woo.. for the first time in this week~ P.E.A.C.E no disturbing expect for MAA tixs... oh sooo shucks.. they kept asking me for it when i dun haf any!! not dun haf.. but not now wad... haha.. i called my cousin and she haven open her letter box... i juz hope that she gets it so i can go... but who to bring along lehz.. soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fustrating.. summore its on valentine.. hiaz... its sure a wonderful date for anyone who comes along, cuz u can see all those international stars there.....

but then, if theres 4tixs, i can bring 3. then who will be these 3 ? hias... guo jie keeps bugging me to bring him go... fereen and weiling also same... hias... then yy. how ? let her stay at home mehz ? chances is that she will not know bout this... but if she ask how ??? 100% i cannot turn her down one... aiyoh.... weifen also nv ask hor ? *hiak hiak hiak* heng ~ she nv ask... woot. i think she also wun ask one la.. maybe muz take initiative... but i also think she wun go too.... hmm lets see... theres a few pple coming to MAA onli wad.. i also dunno those K bois and K girls will be coming ornot.. i only know that there will be some stars coming... 5566 is coming for sure.. ahhaa...

arg.. and also no nid to ask~ jesslyn wun come along cuz.. haha..she will be very uncomfortable with soo mani chinese speaking people there.. haha.... therefore i think leave her out bah.. UNLESS she ask for the tixs la... aiyah.. anyway... wadever... if all ask... hw am i gonna produce the tixs then ?? *thinking* *panic* so ani way... today's peace.. but 2molo there will be INVESTITURE for the Class Commitee Chairmans... ARH !! SHIT !! i hate it.. sooo paiseh.. aiyoh.. sec 5 liao still muz wear that silly badge... i hate it la....... no pride man.. haha... feel nothin great bout it also...BAH !!! i hate it la. .. summore in front of soooo mani pple... oh shucks.. i hate it.....soo paiseh.. anyway... i think same procedure la.. muz starch uniform and muz wear nice nice.. summore i think there will be soo mani things... wad ever.. i will be bringing the camera la.. haha.. so can take pixs.. hha... also take the pixs of the class sleeping and stuffs... gonna be sooo fun.. hhaa.. . . and my webby is down also la... so sian.. cannot upload any pixs.. looking for the Adobe Photoshop 7.0 and the Adobe Illustrator.. hahaha... onli with these 2 programmes then i can make my webby.... hahaha *hiak hiak hiak*

*giggles* hahaha.. cant wait for 2molo anyway.. sooo kan choing.... eeek !! later hw hw !! hahahahah.. cant sleep 2nite... hahaha.....sooo sian also.. i hate badges.. BAH.. wadever.. i am gonna remove it anyway.. hahha.. muhahaha... so 4get it man.. soo the paiseh... EeeW.. !! so paiseh...

and the weathers sooo cold.. i think i am gonna fall sick.. I THINK la.... i dunno also.. maybe not.. cuz i think i am getting the sore throat... sian.. i THINK again... then i will be voiceless a another 2 weeks... then i cannot sing high notes for 2 weeks... wooo ytd i managed to sing a few high notes in a section of David's songs.. hha.. that song named 17years old.. hahaha.. summore it fits me~ haha.. 17yrs old.. SOON !!! hahaha... another 10days.. woooo .. hahahaha.. cant wait.. hahahahahahhaa ...

anyway... i juz think that.. wad allan told me.. is gonan come true again... and i think i am not gonna let it happen to me la.. as in.. i think its impossible.. cuz i am not JR frm K One who proposed to a girl for like hw mani times ? 13 !??!?! so mani times... no way.. i am not going to propose 13 times to a girl.. no way.. i already hit 4 times .. no way.. i am gonna hit 5 or 6 or worse.. more~~ ark.... no way la.. wad ever.. i will kill him if it comes true lor... shit him for saying those things ... wad the heck.. but the thing is that.. i found out there.... theres so mani of them in my life, maybe theres one that i can be faithful to.. but who ? theres so mani of them, and all's unique and stuffs... and theres like, each as its own character and nature.. all very good people.... but for this, i will keep jesslyn out.. i juz think its better for us to be juz friends... not more then that... 4get her.. but the rest.... i think theres a few will judge a book by cover one la... thats y.. hias.. wad to do ... sian lor... *Start Slimming* haha.. lets see... i give myself 1-2 mths.. i will hit my target and get the weight i want.. then i will train my height and those "little mousies" hahaha... *Hiak Hiak* hope by then, after the March or June holidays i will be totally different.. hahaha.. *dreaming* *Dreaming*

*pokes into the clouds* *stop dreaming* ok back to reality.. i think that i wll do fine on slimming and the thing is that maths.. i dun think i can remember all at one go la... that Png... teach like programming computer games like that.. soo fast one.... aiyoh.... sian la.. and theres like DNT to rush for and sooo mani things to worry.. sian lor.. haha.. ok la.. actually i dun know wad to write here.. juz crapping out and along.. haha.. cuz i know there will be pple looking here .. so juz write and write la.. haha.... sian sian.. wad to do lehz... juz stare at that comp or if not... haha..wad to do ? sian lor.. its 8.06 already and not a single soul on my MSN... shucks.. wheres weifen ? wheres W.C ?? Wheres YY ? wheres all of them ?/ aiyoh.... today got wad big event ? soo impt until all of them missing one.. hahaha..sian lor... dunno wad to write here ... sian.. so i think i will end off now la... going man.. i realli mean it... going le... dun keep me... if u need me.. call me.. hahaha... its ok one... if my mom scold u.. i will scold her back one.. ahaa.. dun worry.. hahah.. so i think its a bye la.. for now.. BYE~ Tah Tah.. PO-Tah-To ! Pa Tay To ! Ciao, Cherrio ~ 881 *^_^*V

9:13 PM wahaha.. today.. not bad.. at least it started out well.. haha.. din really mean started well.. hmm lets see.. after physics class, when miss chew left the class, i changed seats with weiling so i sat with fereen. i tot life would be more colourful. but... i was TOTALLY WRONG. W.R.O.N.G !! ALL WRONG !! i shouldnt have sat with fereen... oh. shes like crazy when she started seating with me.. shes started telling me" Oh glenn.. meng zhe sooo shuai.. Wah Zai so shuai..... "and kept repeating over and over again... BAH !! and the worse thing is.. she started grabbing my hands and start doodling my hands wil words like" Meng Zhe zui shuai" and all those stuffs.. and she likes to bug me... woosh.. i dunno man... this is totally crazy and outta this world.. Esp before Dnt / Art lessons. she kept bugging me, telling me that she didnt bring her Art thingys and her teacher will kill her and stuffs.. and then i told her, y not u bring me to your teacher and tell her to blame me for not bringing ur work for u.... -.-!!! then shes like haha.. sian half... aiyoh.. wad ever la.. today almost all the interesting things happened between us la... DUN GET US WRONG.. we are juz practically Super Good Friends.. tats all... super duper friends tats all... normal normal friends.. i've already have a special someone inside me already... hahaa.. dun tell u who la... siao one.. and dont bother to ask... heheheheh.... hmm.. i think i can write pretty long today... cuz... ITS MONDAY.. haha..starting of the week.. so i have to begin with some thing long and nice... then the following days can "eat snake" abit.. dun write too long.. hahah.... and 1 thing.. i realise that my hair colour is fading !! ar.... my red is coming back... cham lor.. haha..... 4get it ... Juz now... i went to a few fish shops in my neighbourhood.. in hoping to find the clown fishes " Nemo" oooo ... i was extremely furious !! all 3 fish shops.. NO NEMO !! and the worst thing is that they sell only African Clowns.. which is Nemo's distant relative.... sian la.. summore soooo ex.. $9 per FISH !! aiyoh.. so ex.. i might as well buy corals and put inside ? hahaha.... and also la... today woke up late and anyhow comb hair.. comb until bcome like sissy boi like that.. haha... lucky W.C din see it.. if not she will start calling me sissy boi again.. haha.. yay.. lets see..today its the 9th Feb.. 11more days to ME and Tony's Birthday !! soooo excited.. get to celebrate birthday with him~ hahaha.. haha.. dunno la.. 2molo having PE and i think there will be english as last period and there will be Physics remedial.. AIYAH !! SIAN.. cannot play with Chemicals. aiyoh... haha.. if not can play with chemical. and anihw mix and burn until the test tube bomb.. hahaha.. anyway... today was "relatively fun" la.. many things happened today.. hah.. i HOPE 2molo.. that weiling dun sabo me make me sit with fereen... if not... hias... i think i muz start to bring my blanket to protect myself from her liaoz.. ahaha... ok la.. gotta write off now.... 2molo then continue man.~ hahha... BYE BYE~

7:17 PM haha.. me so bored.. nothin to do now. and i juz reformated my comp!! YAY !! hehehe... so great.. so fast and its like good as new.. i wish i can get a new comp.. but i've got no money... wad to do~ haha.. anyway... din so anything today but repairing computers... haha... ok la.. i also learnt sumthin on where the gurl whom i used to like.. hmm.. like where she live and stuffs.. haha.. i caught a small little glimpse of her... hehe.. shes sitting in the corner watching tv as i called her.. lucky she was beside the phone... if not.. woosh.. i would have been killed by her father's flying shoes and knives... scarie~ hahha.....

so mani probs. so mani things still haven do yet.. so the fustrating... shldnt have bulit that stupid comp... now i have no time to do my Dnt.. oh.. no.. how shld i tell that Mr See tommorz ? hahaha.. dunno la.. wad ever.... hehe.. gtg now lo !! Bye

12:51 AM today.. haha.. sian lo.. worst then ytd.. nothin happened... 4 periods of DnT, rotted and decomposed there... omg... and its like.. aarg.. wad ever la... and 2periods of English followed by a period of chemistry... got home and sleep wake up and then Xbox... omg.. that game... Need For Speed: Underground.. so sucks.. sucks so hard... wad a idiotic game.. got stuck there for 1month.. believe it !! i chaange from Civic to RSX to Intergra Type-R then to Mitusubishi Lancer, then to Toyota Supra then S2000.. and now... Skyline.. shucks, i upgraded the stupid drivetrain and stuffs.. why cant i still get the handling i see in Civic ?? shucks... hate it man...

Hate it... juz hope sumone can help me clear my stupid game so that i can carry on to play LOTR..... arrg !! then i can also continue and wait for SC:Ghost... oooo cant wait for its realease.... muahahaha.... today realli nth much happened, and i have to return to do my work, and that is Dnt folio... shit.. i hate doing folio.. summore this year muz hit 80-90 pages... siao la... how to write when my words are soo small... less then 2mm in size summore.. whoa laos.. my entire mind-map filled up already... lucky i do 1 time accepted already.. muahaha.. no need to redo... na na ni poo poo =p! hmm... today very tired and sian.... that game always spoil my day.. when i was on the verge of wining.. BAH !! crashed the f%^&ing car !! summore slowed down the speed.. make me cannot catch up.. shucks.. i hate it !! wad a stupid game.. the developer better dun come singapore, if not i will rip him apart with my bare hands and take the controller and stuff it into this nose... whoa... i am being violent already!! i am now super super furious...... ARG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nv heard of YY and Jess.. i wonder how are they doing so far.. hope they can still manage their work in SRJC and MI... haha... they are both wonderful friends of mine.. so nice people... i have nv seen such nice pple in my life !! i mean it !! sooo open one... where to find such open friends.. if only i haf female friends like them, i will be very contented..

sooo mani friends i already lost contact with already.. soo sad.. haha.. and the best thing is ... juz hope i can keep this bunch of friends with me.. soo interesting one.. haha... esp those from outside school... soooo the interesting.. haha... all the weird weird ones.... haha.. make me wanna laugh... and those "ang mohs" from peicai.. whoa.. all english speakers.. amazing.. and that school.. hardly anyone listens to chinese songs.. when i go there, i look like a foreigner... haha.. like china-boi walking in.. cuz i communicate with them using chinese while their main form of communication is english.. sooo funni... hahaa.... then i tell them.. i Singaporean. they say i speak like taiwanese.. the english weird weird one.... whao laoz.. sian lor... hahahaahah

ok la.. gotta sign off to do my work.. hope to write in again tonite.. gosh.. its.. 1.09am already.. dah dah.. bye.


8:28 PM Yoz.. today... i juz had my maths mock test.. and it was like.... 2 words.. horrible and terrible.. and soon.. i think i am going to be a vegetable..stupid test..so difficult.. got stuck at the 3rd question and the weather was soo nice.. i juz doze off... omg.. i think my results for the first test is soo the hard.. and i am going to die soon...

then 2molo theres like.. Dnt ?? thats the worse part. 4periods of DnT and i think theres this folio i needa do ? .. haha.. and i din do. lets see wad the Mr See is gonna say bout me.. anyway.. as usual.. i think i will juz finish all the folio in one week in perfect results.. wadyasay ? hahhaa.. i think he will be soo furious that he will be fainting on the table... hehehe.. no la.. i not that bad actually...

And not 4geting todae.. i had my chinese mock papers.. and.. it was hell.. and i am gonna die la.. seems like every paper i do.. its hell~ omg omg... i needa some help here... *struggle**struggle*

and ARGH !! the mosT IMPT thing of all... oh.. how can i 4get.. i dunno hw on the mother earth.. i got 2 stupid pimples.. 1 on the left and other on the right... shucks.. now.. i have 2 stupid dots hanging on my face !! arh !!! i hate it.... now muz do tons of things to get those flithy things off my face !! eeEEeeww.... sho sians. the weather's supposed to be nice now wan.. and now ? its soooo the hott... its very irritating....

hey.. 2molo's the release of the s.h.e cd... durh~ i am not a fanatic of s.h.e anymore... cant continue la.. soo exhausted.. spend like $300+++ on them already ? and not including the concert tixs and NKF thingy... OH... its soooo madening... when i though of s.h.e ... i juz think that i am tooo damn sissily foolish enuff to be a fanatic of them.. and they are like juz acting ? cuz its soooo different on hw they treat their fans, their assistants, their BOSS... most importantly... i juz feel that.. i can juz be normal music lover.. thats all... i can be a fan of anybody.. cuz i think i need to take a neutral stand.. tats all... if yue yun wish to be crazy with them, then let her be lorz.. i cant do anything also.. but to stand aside and tell her wadever she wishes to know... haha.. wad to do.. and i realised sumthin ytd.. shes in the rock-climbing team !! *faint* y on the mother earth did she join that cca.. of all things... rock- climbing... dang.... dong.... ding.... *faint*

aiyah.. so fustrated la.. soooooooooooooooooo mani things happened today.. one after the other... juz hope 2molo will be a better day.... i really hope so.. and of course... not only 2molo will be a better day.. the following day,month,year will be better !! hehehe....... =]

long time no write soo long =p hahaha.. no la.. i think its only a few days... hmm.. time flies.. and now its like 8.46pm.. haha.. and soon it will be 9pm realli soon and friday will come and another day will commence.... hmm and weichen is asking me all the funni funni qns.. aiyoh.. hw was i to know... wad a qns.. like: When is Indonesia's first election. and how mani countries is there in ASEAN... Holy... hw was it know... counting ASEAN *singapore,malaysia... etc..* woooosh.. dunno la.... i super laoya in such qns.. y not try asking me.. how mani sons did taiwan president Chen Shui Bien haf ?? haha.. then i will tell u .. he have 2.. and did u realise y his wife is a handicap ?? hahaha.... i no nid to say.. u also know la hor ?? *grinz**grinz* hahhaa... too powerful liao.. not to play ard with one.. haha..

oo ... gotta sign off now.... tomolo... I shall continue my epic journey towards Olvls.. haha ... Bye~

4:44 PM Hiaz (Sigh) today's was the English Paper 2 mock exams.. and it was like.. hmmm *thinking* lets see... i did everything.. and i fell asleep on the table.. and it was like... omg.. so the boring the paper.. all bout elephants and english men sitting on them and wadever things that could happen.. so the disgustingly boring.. haha and the worse part is the summary... aiyoh.. sian until dunno like what like that...

today was like.. not bad actually, packed the wrong books, did everything wrong and its like wad a day la... good thing it has passed.. *thinking* hey.. and 2molo's the maths and chinese mock papers.. aiyoh.. so mani tests one.. sooooo irritating.. hope i can get used to this pretty soon man... haha... everyday like this can die.. and 2molo got double chinese.. haha... and indeed my life wasnt wad it used to be.. sooo carefree as before.. not like now.. everyday back home.. i need to worry bout hmwork and tests and projects... hias... i am sooo the fustrated.. hias.. sian sian sian....

and today.. during CME... we went for the comp. lab.. it was sooo fun.. cuz we didnt do anything but surf the laggy computer for out favourite idols.. i juz dun understand.. wad does our idols gotta do with CME ?? haha.. but we had tons of sheety fun there.... i still remember those days.. haha *thinks bout the past*

and i juz got home .. haha.. i reached home bout 4.25pm and everything was like ... so blur.. i din wad to do.. same routine over and over again.. and its already feb. haha.. the chinese Olvl will be coming really soon.. haha.. soooo sian... hhaaha ok .. gotta sign off now... 2molo continue again.. woo~ bye~ haha

1:12 AM haha.. juz came back from Sim lim square .. haha .. helped my friend to bulit his computer.. haha.. dint get online till now.. haha.. wad to do.. nid to fix this and dat.. ehehe... hey wad a day.. and theres English Mockie test !! sianz // -. - !! hate it...sian sian.. and its not .1.14 am and i am rushing this blog so i can sleep !! hahaha.. hey wad a day la.. sian. and also today yamleng told me that he saw jesslyn or yueyun.. haha. wad the heck.. he spoilt the day... make me sooooo the irritated... cus he cannot differenciate the both of them out.. arg !! wad to do.. hehe.. din talk to w.c also.. hahaa... heng ar.. if not.. haha... here i go again.. nth la.. its nice talking to her also..

today my friend spend bout 1.6k on computer stuffs and i was like making the decisions for him and in the end.. haha bulit the entire computer for him.. haha.. kinda "fun" la... today cant talk much as nothin really happened today... gotta sign off now.. byee ~~ hahah *^_^*V OOsh.. i am really tired *yawns*

6:37 PM Aww.. i juz woke up from my nap.. today din do much.. same thing.. and the first thing was computer~ haha... and nobody online except w.c... haha.. lucky.. if not, i would be bored to death. today... y.y when to bai nian.. i din know today still can bai nian and take ang bao one.. haha... anyway.. i juz dun understand.. we only exchanged 2 smses.. again !! oh wad the heck .. 2 smses again... i am such a failure... and after the 3rd sms i sent to her... there was a communication black out.. no reply from 3pm till now.. hha.. sad.. i am very sad... dunno wad to write now.. and my brain now is like... a piece of white paper..

i really hope i could talk to her face to face, and of course, i hope we can do things together, like going to s.h.e concert together ? haha.. of course if she couldnt pay for the tickets, i would gladly pay for her.... but since.. she seems like soo busy.. how to date her and stuffs ? maybe after the entire 15day chinese new year and after 7th feb. hehe.. tats the day where we meet after 3 yrs... i last saw her was 10th Sept 2001.. and after so long. . we nv met and chatted until recently... and its going to be a meet-up for me and her this coming Sat. !! haha.. can't wait.... hahaha.. wad to wear ... i am soo fustrated.. should wear pink or what ? hahaa... later she call me sissy how ar ? .. i know s.h.e fans seldom wear pink one.. and gers dun like guys wearing pink.. or wear macam R&B ? = x siao liao.. worse.. later people call me mor fang Kone.. siao liao... hahaa

hmm... i am thinking on what to wear.. muz give people good impression.. so next time can go out together.. i hope this won't be the first and last time we are going out.... hhaha.. cuz its like.. i have so mani things to tell her in person.. all i know.. last time.. besides candy.. she the girl who attracts my attention more... not because shes pretty or what.. she somehow is different as like her character is the type of ger which i am looking one.. like ella like that one... sporty sporty one.. hahah.. lets hope everything will turn out to be fine on that day itself...

Everyday, i anticipate her sms.. everynight, she tells me, she busy with her school work.. and theres like no time for her to sms... and she dun reply one.. i guess shes busy la... so i dun disturb her la... i really appreciate her.. cuz it took me 2-3 yrs to find her.. and i have found her at last.. i was going to give up hope on the both of them already.. and at last i found jess. and yun together almost on the same time... Thank God for giving me to chance to find them.. and i have found them finally...

Oww.. and 2molo's school already. wad to do.. i think i am going to bring the camera and take pictures of my class studying.. haha.. so cute one .. surely can capture sumbody sleepin in class and some meditating there one.. haha...
and see if can catch mdm zainah with her bombastic english and Kua Zhang movements... and the best part is, my birthday is coming and y.y birthday will be due in a month's time.. haha.. of course i know what she wants, and i have got it ready.. haha... juz hope we can not juz be normal friends.. but something more then that.. last time's hurt... Uuurgh.. i cant believe it.. got hurt 5 times by the same ger !! oh what the heck... but we are still friends.. and shes like.. dunno leh... i juz treat her as friends lor... juz hope it stays this way.. cuz i do not wish and Want to lose y.y and jess....

anyway.. i will get the chinese blog up.. soon.. later.. haha.. gotta write off now... cya 2molo and byes !!

12:03 AM ooo.. it has been soo mani mths since i last touched my blog. ok.. lets see.. where can i start.. hmm hmm... *thinking* today.. din do anything but rot infront of the comp for the entire day... yar i know.. my life is boring.. but wad to do? haha.. cant go out and stuffs.... and tommroz ish hari raya haji.. and that is holiday for me.. haha.. so nice.. can rot the entire sickening day again.. juz hope it dun rain 2molo, if not.. i will be wasting my life sleepin in my room with the lil X box there... .... just a few moments ago, i went to read my friend's blog, dun tell u who =p, and she was like... so pro.. dunno wad to describe her blog.. its like... da wu jian xiao wu... so long one... and can see that she maintained the blog for soo mani wonderful mths... heehee.. juz got a mail.. and it was frm Sir Tan... great.. he wants me back into the unit.. and i have to serve another yr... shucks.... dunno u i am soooo stuck up with those guys over there.. but wad can i say.. i have a unit.. FULL of adorable kids... like my children.. haha i watched over them... i saw how they grow up ... frm sec 1 to now.. most of them already sec 4.. haha...

hmm... ytd i managed to chat with yy for like 2sms ? owwwww wad the heck.. 2smses only..... wad the heck.. she was like.. at the Chingay ? haha... i guess shes watching it la.. not on duty... not like those poor np friends i haf.. haha....

i listened to a few songs today... and of course.. theres a few songs can describe my feeling and stuffs... and of course.. stop writing songs already.. and yay !! at last i wun be needing to face the scripts and tons of lyrics... today.. same as previous... and as before... always thinking.. when will the one i am finding be there when i need her most.. or shall i say... i haf found her ? but, its like all people all around me.. seems to like relay and judge using their eyes and always they judge people by their looks and appearance... and not their true character and background..... sooo the disapointed.. not only i din see the both the contacts.... but also.. i din see anyone today...

deep in my heart.. that same feeling still linger inside me.... hanging there... and the song... each time it is played... hw i wish it is true...

I'm sorry for me needing you
sorry girl that you don't feel it too
I get the point, should be a man about
I've never been good at that - no no
forgive me for being me
I've tried to let go
I'm sorry for me wanting you
sorry for not playing by the rules
but what would you do if you were in my shoes
feeling lost and blue
I'm sorry for me lovin' you
sorry for being such a fool
God knows I've tried but I can't let go
I'm crazy 'bout you know who
I wish I was the only one
to lay in your arms at night
well you can't blame a guy for tryin'
now what else can I do
and how I wish that my prayers, thoughts and dreams
would become reality

Dear God. If you were to see this... please grant my wish. I wish everyone could be happy, healthy, i wish i can be more intelligent, more attractive and definately i hope, the one whom i wan to be with can be there when i needed her and can be together for the rest of our lives.