OricionSeis
i am lonely. are you there ?

take me to the sky

9:27 PM maybe its me... while maybe its her....

through time.... i have lost my confidence... through time... i have resigned to my fate... neither can i accept the fact that the both of us have grown up...

our perspectives...

our feelings...

our emotions....

and maybe our environment changes us...

maybe its me who is thinking too much...

have i lost myself ? have i lost complete control of myself for being wanting to be with her ?

Though the fear of rejection is too great to comprehend...but i thought of giving her up flashed across my mind...

She subjects herself to emotional changes due to her present enviroment.. while i, being exposed to the ups and downs... seen through so much things....looks like its time to accept the fact that we cannot be together ? is it me...the inner voice who is making me to feel like this ? or is this the sign that its time for me to spell out that we both have grown up... and the changes in us or me has made me feel that way ?

people tell me, if i truely love her, i should let her go, forget her, and start a new.... i know i wasnt myself since i met her... and i know i have been trying hard to find the true me ever since i fell in love with her..... but why am i so bothered about it.....

why am i feeling like this... i never felt like this before. neither did i know how to adapt to the changes i had in my emotional and surrounding changes.... the pain i felt in my heart when i know that i have to give her up... the pain so much that theres nothin i can describe....

i know.. everyday and every night i am missing her....
i have not forgotten the details of every moment we met.... every moment when we are together....

although we are worlds apart... i nv felt inferior to you, you were my motivation to strive, and my motivation to carry on....

nv did i feel the gap between us...

but did you actually know how much you actually mean to me ? did you actually know how much i loved you ? did you ever know that i have fallen for you before you actually realising it...

but each time i wanted to express my feelings for you... your words which u told me... deeply engraved into the back of my mind, flashed past, and reminded me that if i were to take that step, i would lose a friend like you.....

never did i want to lose a friend like you, and neither did i want to feel like this.. but i couldnt control myself, i juzt couldnt stop myself from falling for you....

when ur words flashed across my mind, i was daunted. knowing that i may get rejected and the fear of being the inferior friend....

i am different... because the hurt i had was too much....

i am sorry for not letting you know how much i liked about you.....

i am sorry for being silent about my feelings...

"Why did I lie ? What did I walk away to find, I can?t breathe easy, Can?t sleep at night. Till you?re by my side. No I can?t breathe easy. I can?t dream yet another dream. Curse me inside. I won?t forget, no i won?t baby, I don?t know why (don’t know why)I left the one I was looking to find. Out of my mind. Nothing makes sense anymore. I want you back in my life. That?s all I?m breathing for..."

BLUE, Gulity, Breathe Easy

i guess the time to let her know about this blog is coming... and my end is near... the end for my love and patience is finally reaching the limit....

my love for her is coming to an end... and probably...things may not turn out the way i wanted them to be.... well.... because of her.... i tot i could control my fate, and its her that makes me feel that i could take on the world...

but now... totally down... and maybe its through words that i could express my thoughts.. and maybe things may turn out for the better... well... if when she has access to this web, maybe she might ignore or avoid me.. and i have no choice....

and what choices do i have left....

I am sorry.... for not letting you know how much you meant to me.....

.......

i shall end here.......




5:01 PM hmmm.. recently dun haf much of the time to update.. but maybe now i haf a few mins to spare before i will have to return studying for monday's prelim...

on the 16th September.. the release of my dream camera... D2x.. and the F6... from Nikon Singapore, they stated that the D2x will be $1.6k more den my camera D2h.... which will roughly cost about $6.6-7.6.... hiaz... but with the 12.4MP... super tempted....

the F6 too.. realli nice.. but to get it next yr june bah... hahaha...

hmm.. monday is prelim for SS... so now making some final preparations... lol.. lets hope it comes out.... hmm.. ok la.. sign off now...

D2x !! F6......

oh ya.. ytd talk 2 her leh!! lol..... summore suan here and there.... interesting.... hahahah


10:52 PM today.. woke up rather early for a weekend... and i woke up at 10am !! ahhh sooo early... oh god... ytd nite.. made a dedication and it was read out... in a rather funni manner... lol...

hahahaha..... ya.. and i ask "her" is she listened to radio.. she said seldom... hmmmmmmmm... maybe should write in liao.. its time to write in liao..it has been 6yrs since i last wrote into 933.. hahahaha.. now maybe i can write in...

but my chinese sux.... can speak fluently.. but cannot write.. wth... aaarrrggghh.. hmmm.. still muz design the letter.... whoa kao..... sian sian... muz buy pink paper again...... aiyoh....... ahahahaha... what if she didnt read it out~ wasted effort again......

nvm... now i muz try hard and finish my folio... and finish both weiming and ethan off... its time i unleash the true side of me.. the ruthless glenn.. which will stop at nothing to achieve the goal i was set to achieve.... A1.....

and i will not let u stand in my way.. i will not be daunted by your actions... neither will i be daunted by ur folio..... on Sept 13, before 1200hrs, i will show you.. wad i mean by A1 standard of the highest order, the cream of the corp..... u shall be the one who has been defeated by me...

..................................................... finish u i will....................................................................