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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
oh crap. 2day did hit my target. finished topic 1 in 3 days.. which can be faster... in summary, i did 220 questions in 3days over 5hrs + 5.5hrs + 3hrs *CRAPSSS!!!* = 13.5hrs. which is about 810 minutes for 220 questions. so i spend about 3.68minutes in 1 question over the last 3 days.. hmm.. fast !! which is about 38-40% faster compared to the begining of the year with about 20 questions wrong. and corrected. so in terms of percentage accuracy. its 90.91% for topic 1. so lets do a de-breifing on mission 1. -START OF REPORT- Mission: Topic 1-1a Total Time: 13.5hrs Target Attempted: 220/220 Target Accuracy: 90.91% Target Acquisition Time: 3.68mins/target Topic Conclusion: Revised. Require some reinforcement PRT. - END OF REPORT - so i eventually completed the topic is 3day time frame. which i believe can be improved. so lets see... maybe i set my next target. complete topic 2 in 2days. and instead of 13.5hrs in 3days. which is a average of 4.5hrs in a day. i intend to stretch it to 5-6hrs of revision a day over the next 2days. or maybe more hours to be more efficiency ? will look into that. ok i know i am taking my revision a lil like some stupid military style lah.. haha.. i guess thats the way to motivate me to work ? work towards a goal lah.. small goals at a time. progressive mahs... and its abit late lah.. and well.. at least i am trying to speed things up with maximum efficiency thou... hheh... well.. brains kinda fried again.. so well.. 2day nth much happen. sch was erm... boring with a big B. and the photography club members realli lack this term called "Professionalism" blah.. wad to do... i shall nt say much thou.. i give up hope on them. teacher i/c is clown = clown members. so i better stand one side and watch clown show... today study a bit little. but still meet my target of completing the topic. and well.. couldnt move into topic 2 lah. coz abit saturated already. so what i gonna do is prolly leave it later at 3am and continue topic 2. didnt go back to sec. sch. cOX! i was ashamed of myself. being a class chairman of my ex-class. someone who they put high hopes in. and if i let them know i am in ite. i think they will be super dissapointed. and so. decided not to go back until next year when i am in poly or something. at least theres something i can face them. i don't wish to see my mentors go dissapointed to see me in such a state. especially my design juniors. too bad i am too busy to help them in their projects. nvm. i will promise to help the next batch to obtain a A1 and A2 like me! hahahahs... oh wells... i guess this saturday i am giving Specialist Course a miss guys.. i knw !! i am not PANG SEHING u all ok !!!!!!! i am going out to let my brain relax a while... and yes.. going for a photo shoot... and shoot birds lah.. as usual. prolly gg with fuse. and maybe we go LCK in the morning and Kranji in the afternoon. so prolly u guys might wanna check the portfolio out on sunday morning for updates. hahaa.. i will be on stand-by from ncc until i think i finish my exams i dunno ?? BDC is 1mth !! and i cant attend !! shit.. FYI. BDC is Basic Combat Diver course.... ggrr !! i wanna gooooo !!! coz it has always been my dream to be there.. or i will give it a miss ? and join it next year ? and join BAC on june ? and FYI. BAC is Basic Airborne Course... thats the course i wanna join !! and booo.. i cant go for my glider..but nvm. during my 3rd year service i will go... shit... oh wells.. i guess i finish my Olvls den i decide again. so well.. i guess December will be free unless i am suppose to attend CLTs as some instructor which i think i will reject coz i know someone is going... and to prevent that erm... pah sehness lah.. nvm. i am going say so sorry to my 3 musketeers in advance. but i will be attending ur POP. tats for sure alrites ?? and plus my assistance for ur mutuals lahs... hahahas... last time no one helped me for my mutuals. so nvm. i will help u guys out. i will make sure guys get the top few marks lah. i help u all draw 3D m-16 and exploded view ? ok shall stop here. coz i gtg sleep now... write in 2molo afternoon ! Happy teachers day to all !! Esp to Adam Goi ! ur primary school kids gt give u flowers ornot ? remember to do some macro shots of it lahs ! Johnathan !! i know u reseacher lahs... but nvm! Happy teachers day !! IRIS also included. ahhahas.. and Siti lah.. dun worry i know... Tuesday, August 30, 2005
and YES !!! i was on the train to JE, and it was suppose to take from Lakeside which will pass chinese garden lahs.. and i saw the girl i mention weeks ago! and today i confirmed shes from AC, and we were 1 section away. i was in door 2, while she was at door 3. haha. ok i can see her from my side, and we did "stared" into each other's eyes for a moment. in fact a few seconds. boooo.. =p ok i shouldnt be bhb. maybe she was wondering why do i haf such a weird hairsytle. =p she looked like those sporty jc students u see. very typical looking. prolly thats why. i dunno. ok lets see. its the 3rd time i saw her already. lets see if i get to see her 2molo... heh heh.. seems like i am writing my journal entries of passing-by eye candies huh ? Noooo !! i am nt ok! oh well.. my lecturer was nt in school today. and so school ended at 11 today. and i went to get my calculator, and u guessed it rite. the stupid calculator gt fried... muhaha! cant imagine a person like me can fry some calculator !! and the new one cost me $21... lucky for the popular card.. aiyah saved me $1 plus onli... better then nothing... reached home. did a few qns, and took a nap until 5pm and continued doing til 6.30. and continued at 8pm till 9.30pm. so today i did around 5 - 5.5hrs of revision. kinda slow cause i covered only 50% of topic 1a. so i'll make sure i cover the remaining 50% plus a small refresh on topic 1b... my target is prolly 6hrs of revision. ok.. shall look into it... i shall go sleep now... i guess my brains kinda fried too... and 2molo will be a rather short day. so maybe i will have to sleep late to finish my revisions.. sigh... its 3 more days to 2nd September !! and yes.. its uR birthday !! and i hope ur prelims will be smooth and well alrites ?!? coz i will be praying and hoping that God will hear my prayers and let u pass with distinctions... *hahas... * Monday, August 29, 2005
oh wells.. i did actualli wondered if our education system was realli the reliable. and yes. iris shared the same sentiments as in the education system is no longer reliable and relavent. and a review should be done on the role of a teacher,lecturer,mentor,principals and all working staff of the ministry of education. with a question in mind " Is Teaching really mean teaching students or simply for the sake of passing on the information to the students ? Does the student really learn or absorb the materials ? With the increased roles and responsiblity of teachers, has the quality of teaching gone down ? Has it compromised the standard and quality of teaching and mentoring to these students ? " i would definately hope someone can review the current education system and do the necessary changes. And the sight of good and wonderful teachers leaving the service is really hard to accept while the incompetant ones stay and continue with the degrading quality and standard of teaching. ok.. i think i am going back to fix my calculator and yes! it died on my while i was using it on the train... booo... and now i got the new batteries to fix it and i will be back on my paper 2 again! yay!! muhahah.. ehs. first time i am so enthu. in my maths ok. some lil encouragements lah !! ok gtg.. hope to write in later or in the nites. =] ^ ^ All will be well. Day 01. Day 01. 0612hrs. Location: ITE Bishan, Singapore. Mission: Enagage in 8hrs of self-study time in school... Sunday, August 28, 2005
Make the most of what you've got. It adds up to a lot more than you thought That Shakespeare had it right when he wrote, 'There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophies.' Dreams, symbols and things that are more than meet the eye play a big part in your life right now. Pay attention to recurring themes, coincidences and people that keep crossing your path. There's a message hidden there among them, but you have to look way beyond the obvious. ---------------------------------------- bottom line is that i dun understand ? pay attention to recurring themes, coincidences and people that keep crossing your path ? theres a message hidden there among them, but you have to look way beyond the obvious ?? huhs.... ?? haven encounter any of those mentioned ?? oh well.. i shall make it a point to take note of every happening this week then... hmmmms... and gotta go sleep soon too... today last day of my hols. did nothing for the whole week !! ahhh ! shit lah.. kinda dissapointed with myself.. wha.. and that buddy of mine. study until no come online.. i realli salute her liao lor... tsk tsk.. this one is what i can call pure determination.. hw come ncc nvr teach me this!! haha.=p ok. i am nt being a loser blaming all to ncc lah. i was chatting with fadilah jus nw. and she asked why i didnt notice her during the dinner. in fact i DID notice her okays. its just that she.. erm... wore a dress ? and put on make up ? so much so that i couldnt even recognise her ?!??! ehs.. coz i always see her in her uni. ok.. and with that "manly" look lah! so now so erm.. i dunno.. too pretty to describe. so tats why i say i didnt dare to walk up to say hi. coz later wrong person is I malu leh... but yah i did eventually recognise thats u when u were at the steps there taking pics with 2 of ur friends.. whaha... oh well.. i gotta haf to update the Syndidate Hotel's friendster... if not later those pple will start complaining again... ok signing off for now. 2molo afternoon i shall update again... ^^ Album: Never Gone Title: Just want you to know Looking at your picture From when we first met You gave me a smile that I could never forget And nothing I could do Could protect me from you that night Wrapped around your finger Always on my mind The days would blend 'Cause we stayed up all night Yeah you and I were everything, everything to me Chorus: I just want you to know That I've been fighting to let you go Some days I make it through And then there's nights that never end I wish that I could believe That there's a day you'll come back to me But still I have to say I would do it all again Just want you to know All the doors are closing I'm trying to move ahead And deep inside I wish it's me instead My dreams are empty from the day The day you slipped away (Repeat chorus) That since I lost you I lost myself But I can't fake it there's no one else (Repeat chorus 2x) this is a group photo taken. and post processed by me...  optimised to fit the blog's size lahs... and me... sudden went hyper lah... ps for the ugly pics.. i guess u dun see me being so silly rite.. ok.. tats when i get silly and do silly things... =p 
Saturday, August 27, 2005
ok.. dinner was okays.coz what can i expect from a $5 dinner. and because the minister of education was here and so to maintain a rather good image that ncc is nt some cheapo uniformed group, it has a "better then average" food quality today.. =p.. hey! i am nt picky lah! haha.. but morning we played pool. and we rehearsed, lunched. rehearsed for 15mins. and pool all the way to 5pm where we changed into our formal wears. and yes. those who think i am gonna wear like some "whitish" prince wear. den u all will be sooo darn wrong.. i wore full black. hehe.. and yah. with that metalic sliver tie.. boo! while KF has the white one. and i know he bought it at mustafa.... kns.. i am going to go there and get the white tie next week! Shocked that he found that tie at Mustafa's... and so the dinner. yah.. things happen as usual.. the OLD birds came back. S/S/Clt Simon Chen was back. my Ex-Ex-Ex Clt.. hahaha.... when he saw me. he couldnt remember me. so and yah. didnt go and say hi to him too lah.. he was still giving all of us his stern face.. boo.. hahaha.. so yah.. my "Used to be" Clts, who used to tekan me like some dog.. kns. they were there, but also. i didnt go say hi to them. coz i couldnt recognise some of them. they changed aLOT ! pretty liao lor! kns... hahaa =X ok lah. so we sat at table 23. there were 8 of us. 2 went MIA. and i know table 25 was total chaos, cos! they tried to spike each other's food and drink. and they did lah.. in fact 1 of them went to toilet and nv came back. hahaha! they erm. took out the stopper of the salt tablet. and erm..... poured the whole thing into the drink. it was sprite. so u wouldnt see any colour change. and the minute we tasted it. u will like go cursing the person who did that in ur heart. so much so u wanted to kill him immediately.. hahhaa.. so the minister spoke. kinda boring. and erm. cadets from the band sang. went around saying hi and chatted. and yah. meet some of my ex cadets. gene.dan.marc. hhahaha.. 3 out of the 5 musketeers of the unit. so prolly i will be expecting to see them at the 50th Clts... muhaha.. many things happened. so i wouldnt write all here. but wait till i post some pics online later on sunday or monday night when i receive them from Yings. kinda tired. prolly see if i can get any more pics. i shall post them up again... kinda tired lah... and btw the dinner was held at Orchid Country Club. which is atYishun lahs.. from yishun to Je is also another 30mins or so plus a "faster den usual" bus ride which was erm.. 20mins... so almost spent another 50mins-1hr travel.. i shall sign off. and post the pic later. God Bless all.... * ^ ^ * ... Friday, August 26, 2005
and theres a number of shows i am gonna MISS !! AHHHHH!! one of them which i will be missing will be Miss Teen USA 2005 !! wHa laos..... kinda what lah.. cannot see them... coz when u look at them... u feel that singaporean girls compared to them is like little girls... dun u all think so ? they aged from 17- 19+ and erm... they loook sooo like the 21-22 yr olds of singaporeans here. their mentality is rather matured. and they look. wonderful in my photographic point of view. and i believe they are those who have the looks and the brains too ? well.. the last one was already... given me a "WOW!!" or shall i say " Wahhhh...." reaction... very pretty girls on tv. 51 pretty ones... but a few spoilers... In my photographic point of view that is... ehhehe ok... and prolly gonna miss some other tv programmes happening on MTV 2molo. so in short i think i will be burning my saturday for some freakish dinner at OCC (Orchid Country Club) and not Orange County Cycles... hahahahahahhaha!! OCC bikes are cool! lol.... btw guys, when i say i watch miss teen usa 2005, please dun imagine me like some lusty old uncle sitting in front of the tv ok!!! i am not them and i am one who condemns flesh trade. Boooo!!!! !!!! !!!!! !!! (thousand and one boos!) okies... sunday meeting up to get my gaffer tapes.. its time to get some gaffer tapes to tape up my camera like a bahzhang... hahaha... i was wondering should i wear my shirt there or bring it there ? hmmmmms.... i think i will bring it there ??? i was watching YellowCard's Only one MTv on MTV !. all i can say its realli cool...... realli cool... realli darn cool... so in short.. so i am gonna dl them! heh... well... i think tats all... i kinda miss the old days where i can talk on the phone for hrs, frying my brains as well. and go sleep dreaming of so many beautiful things. now i cant. i miss the days where i can be online and find someone to talk to. but now. cannot le.. now the msn seems to dead.. and all i am left is those shooting buddies. but they are busy most of the time lah tats why..... so tats why today i did so many "bo liao" things like searching for funny ads and erm... some little girl came to me chatting me up ? = . - !! do i look like some guy who will go after girls who is actually younger den my SISTER !?!?!? darn it... its not that... but i feel gulity in some sense... stupid.. hw on earth she got my msn anyway....gosh.. freakish.. nvm.. i already placed her on my ignore list. Booo! if she is some fan of my works online i think she gotta have to wait till i publish my first book on myself... and thats is like 3yrs from now !! so wait ! i am still writing... ok. my first book. should be something like photojournalism... yah.. something like that... tats nice..... ok.. freakish day for me today... anyway.. i am nt interested in little girls lah.. childish lehs! as i think most would know me. i prefer pple of the opposite gender who is smart.confident.and likes photography.oh wells.photography part is optional.as long we click. its great. good to go... dunno wad to write now... kinda like one fustrated banana.... sian... think of 2molo's dinner i feel like ....nvm.. *contain my anger*.. alrites.. signing off nows... * ^^ * i went around asking my shooting buddies on what they do for a living. coz suddenly all "pakak" and online together.. lol! ok.. i have buddies who are doctors, scientists, dentists, ENGINEERS ! and one RESEARCHER !! whao lao.. they have sooo cool jobs... i mus work hard to be a DESIGNER ! hahhahaaha... extremly cool lah them.. no wonder all of them have the moolah to own the big guns.... lol... haha... nice to know all these pple... now still gt 2 more of my buddies i dunno wad they do for a living... and one of them drives a merz and the other takes a bus ?? i dunno.. * ^^ * booo.... and so i guess have to wait for the following week and hope there isnt anything on. sunday's shooting trip was also cancelled. coz i made a big boo boo. and caused erm. 2 of my shooting buddies confusion. haha.sorry ccplim and szekiat!! pai seh lahs.. i didnt see the date properly. looks like we missed the shoot. it was last week... heh... *paiseh* well.. prolly we shall look into a more active shooting period when october comes and when the raptors are in town.. hahaha!! yah! this time i hope Wk can bring me out to his safari shoot again. prolly something my lens can tahan one! or maybe near the spot where i can shoot the Terns. ok nvm. i shall forgo my white tie for now. and get it when i realli need it. prolly for my next presentation or what shit the school might be planning... BOOOOOOOOOOO! sometimes i gotta appreciate what does the school does for us? but sometimes its just not enough.. i am never contented. tats why i keep moving on. looking for new improvements, unsatisfying hunger for new and stronger power. heh... i am not some power monger !! and i mean not in military issues nor the wadever youth leader's thingy u all call it. nono i call it youth organisation. hehehe.. ok.. shall write again later.. i miss going out with Wk for shoots.. hahahaa.... i wanna shoot terns and malaysian plovers !!!! Thursday, August 25, 2005
i was at JB. and i was at City Square. erm.. tat place i think has been habouring some of JB biggest mega posers there ? i think i have seen more then what i usually see at orchard road ? haha.. ok.. got my shirts liao... and the neck tie.. aiyah.. kinda abit dissapointed. its metallic grey of some sort. but i was looking for a white one.... nvm..2molo i go bugis and find the white one.. sheesh.. spent $80 like that... gosh.. 2molo dunno gonna spend hw much.. running out of $ realli fast. and my buddy's bday present more jia lat... have to go scouting again.. oh well... 2molo i will have to wake up early and chiong out and come back early. oh wells.. i am kinda tired lahs.. so yah.. signing off nows.. ok... so i will now wait for him to get the PSU and i fix it in for him. ok.. this was suppose to be some short messages lahs.. hehehehe.. and gotta fix my uncle's comp later.. whao lao.. haf to install power supply... and ytd i went to find that stupid shop... it isnt there!! i called and no one answered !! Boo !! Sigh... i intend to get a book by Michio Kaku, heh!! go find about him! his works is simply amazing and yah. its NOT design related. its related to theoretical physics. about those science and technologies one... very nice book if u like space and beyond. i shall consider getting his latest book first. Parallel Worlds. hehehe.. people say i am weird. weird as in i do not do things that normal teenagers would do. like hang out around in town during the weekends and stuffs ? watching movies and erm.. yah.. hang out with friends. but well i guess i still like the wilderness of singapore where i can feel nature and be part of the peaceful surroundings. ooh well.. tats why i am a wildlife photographer.. whahaha.. was listening to radio, and they were like.... =. = !! Justin ang was like so "PRO" at his pronounciation of his powderful malay... he said "Saya Gila" = Translation: Malay to English = "I am Crazy" "Saya Bodoh" = Translation: Malay to English = "I am Stupid" "Saya Muka macam Pantat" = Translation: Malay to English = "My face looks like a butt" "Saya Muka macam KuayPaiTee" Translation: Malay to English ="My face looks like a !!*&%^!" i dunno wad does kuay pai tee stands for anyway.. i dunno. but justin ang was like being played by vernon A. i cant wait to hear vernon A pronounce chinese.. muhahahaha!! yeah.. i am lame... coz all thanks to them. i am moving up in ranks in becoming one of the lamest person u've ever met.. lamery. its all part of life. it makes ur life more cheerful. and of course colourful.haha! shall write in again if i get back to singapore in time. which i think its rather impossible. Wednesday, August 24, 2005
i had another 1hr plus bus ride again!! i took the 197 bus from bugis to JE. and it was terrible.. the bus stinks. packed bus. gosh.... well.. juz received a news frm lay yian that i am suppose to do ushering for the freak dinner ? Ahhhhhhh !!!!! nOOooo OOOOO !! i paid already !! still have to do sai gang! boRing! nvm lah.. do lor.... wad to do... oh well...i think i am sleeping now... so yahs... sick... aNd yah... ashidah. u are nt alone when u are feeling depressed. i know hw it feels. do let me know alrite. we stay opposite each other only what... aiyoh.. wads the trouble.. u can walk to my place too! 3mins onli! hahahaha... =X ( X . X ) ~~~~ Album: Ocean Avenue Title: Only One Broken this fragile thing now And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces And I've thrown my words all around But I can't, I can't give you a reason I feel so broken up (so broken up) And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you know Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only, my only one Made my mistakes, let you down And I can't, I can't hold on for too long Ran my whole life in the ground And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone And something's breaking up (breaking up) I feel like giving up (like giving up) I won't walk out until you know Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do You are my only, my only one Here I go so dishonestly Leave a note for you my only one And I know you can see right through me So let me go and you will find someone Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only oneI let go, there's just no one, no one like you You are my only, my only one My only one My only one My only one You are my only, my only one nice and simple ? well... i guess it looks like sTarck's design or somekind. heh... but i like this skin thou. nice~~ ^^ its still a nice skin.. whahaha.... shall update 2nite.. byes~ sheesh.. bear with this crap skin for another day pls... sorry in advance... Tuesday, August 23, 2005
i know i have not done anything that question and doubt my integrity and conscience. and i mean. anything anything.whatever.
say what you want. coz i have nothing left to say.you proved your reasons more superior then mine.u didnt care if one day i were to die.coz i know whether i live or die, it was not of ur concern.or shall i say, it was even never of ur concern in the first place?prolly i dun deserve such attention by you after all. coz you dun see any value to me.coz simply i was some jerk u found on friendster i suppose. u condemn me because of ?? just because i assumed things about u ? say things about u which u are not ? i have no right to prove my innocence, neither am i trying to prove my rights on this. i have no right in saying whether am i right or wrong in the remarks i've made. all i want to do is to say sorry. i am sorry. tats all. simple. coz i know nothing i do will change the fact that u see me as some freak. tats all. *nothing left 2molo going down to ed's place. to burn some time lah.. picked up some Times mag, so prolly have to read them up for the papers.. boo. so many of them. nvm. i can read 1 in a day.heh. hmmm..forgot to buy newspapers. AGAIN!!.. aarrgggh.... today prolly got up on the wrong side of the bed lah.. everything seems so wrong... need to pick up some gaffars tapes for my lens.. the paint seems to be peeling off.. shit! my investments... gosh... gotta get them before the paint start peeling like some .... dunno wad to say... i went to check for the address for that freaking shop and it was there! the address states tat area i went wad.. SIC.. i was in the area and 500m surrounding SIC, but no sight of that shop lor..... shit.. nvm.2molo i go find it again.. *ambiguity makes you sink into confusion cant imagine i am doing a stupid net search for that stupid shop.. still cant seem to find it.. the address didnt change..maybe i should go find it again... i guess this morning i was rather crapped or stucked up lah.. tats why i got sidetracked to writing things which i swore i wouldnt do.. i am flipping through the august issue of the Times, and i was at the Atomic bombing section during the WWII writeup... kinda interesting and sad that such a resort had be considered. sad lah.... imagine those poor kids who had to go through all these.... well.. i guess the day is ending.. and erm.2molo will be a fresh start and erm.. yah.. today rather dunno lah! got mood swing or something... sian... "It's crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we've heard so that we don't drift off. " Hebrews 2:1 i've seen pple from all walks of life.it does reflect to myself that i do need some time off.for me to step out and see the World.i always wished to wander around.own time one target. walk around the countryside and see how people worked and enjoy their afternoons. i want to see the blue oceans of the pacific.blue skies. the north pole aurora. i wan to see so many things. i wan to go out and see the world. many see me as one who dreams alot. durh!! Pisces dream alot lor.. they are the dreamers what... tats explains why. hmmm it has been some time since i last read the horo. lets see wad it writes today. it wrote: Your usual selflessness is being nudged aside by some very 'me first!' instincts right now. Why not just go with it? After all, if you're tired of being there for everyone else and feeling a little neglected, say so. Honesty on your part will really cut through any residual feelings of resentment or frustration you're having. Believe it or not, people will be much happier after they hear what you really feel -- and so will you. i see.... its true.well... it mentioned about residual feelings of resentment or fustration. oh wells.. its all in the past. why bother to bring it all up. it will not change my life anyway. might as well forget all. and never to bring it up again. oh well.. today my day ended with chaotic emotions running up and down my mind and heart. *confusion all shall end when i close my eyes. and return to my world of lush greenery. blue skies and blue seas. i choose to end everything and everyday with a sleep. knowing that 2molo will be a new day to start out with. i was lost. not anymore. yeah. i was scared. tired and controlled when i wait. all shall end now. knowing that theres much more things left to do... 3more mths, and i shall regain my freedom.... 3 more mths...... Monday, August 22, 2005
well.. the orals was amazingly erm.. shall i say related to my course of studies and my erm... external career as an cadet officer ? and yah.. the oral today is something related to the military and of course about teamwork and stuffs.. and of course, lucky now i can "blah" all my way.... and i gave a lot of details and link them up lahs.. lol.. hope the invigilator can give some chance and pass me this time.. on my way to the gathering, i actually decided to drop by at bugis to find this shop called House of Costumes lahs... but cant find! irritating.. i know its around the SIC (School of Institute Commerce) or something one.. i search 500m radius of that area and still cant find that stupid shop.. i wonder where it went though... *searches the net for the address....* but it stated at Middle road what!!! its at bugis lor!! i was there okays.. and still cant find that shop... boo! nvm. i will try my luck on wednesday again... and i was on the train.this pair of erm.... *guilty..guilty... **perspire* realli nice looking girls.... erm.. yah .. realli good looking ones... sporty sporty types.. and they hopped onto the train at the dover station. obviously they are SP students lah.. and one of them is a videographer/photographer cos she was holding a sony bag! the bag that was intended to hold camera or vidcams one. and she was pretty thou, i was looking at her.. and actually wanted to walk up and chat up. BUT BUT!! the mega bummer came... there i was sitting in the middle of the train, she was standing near the door, SUDDENLY.. she sang.. so frigging loud lah! she was singing The Reason by Hoobastank. gosh. her voice. isss... ttteeerrrrriiiibbbbllllee...... i tell u, the whole train was having goosebumps... everyone was trying to siam from her lor! and i was looking at her... hoping she can stop.. BUT NO!! she kept singing until she alighted at Raffles place... and tat was the last time i saw her.. she was pretty thou.. whahahahahaa.. ok. its all over. but her singing was realli a big turn off,.. if she didnt sing, i think i will go up to her knowing she has sweet voice too.. =X *guilty..* ok... i smell like some walking BBQ station even after bathing lah.... shit... i need to bathe again to remove the friggin smell... guys..imagine... i sat on the bus.. for 1hr 45mins..from Bedok all the way to JE. and from JE all the way to my home. its almost a 2hr ride... my bottocks is like almost going to grow flowers or vanda miss joaquim (AKA National Orchid)...... super jia lat.. but the aircon was nice... dozing off until this another noisy bunch of buggers. came and made a hell loads of noise.. but bo pian. i force myself to doze off until i reached NUH.. and tats where i took short lil naps until i reach JE.. *A MomEnt of Silence.... * and yah... its erm.... way past 12 lah.. and i am going to sleep with the aircon today... if not if i on the fan. i think the whole hse will smell like the BBQ pit of wad lah.. den everyone will kick me wake up and ask about the smell. so i haf to isolate the smell... whahahahaa.... ok.. i am realli tired lahs.. and i feel like dying soon... my brains dead and failing... "Crushing waves. Chirping birds.Kids shouting.Blue skies.Crimson Skies....... what a wonderful sight when i walked along the ECP" "Cold seat.Streaking lights.Dark Skies....Cold...Alone. Staring out the window. I allowed my mind to run freely. I felt desolation. i felt disillusional for a second or 2.i felt swarming darkness in me for a while.i shut my eyes.what i saw was complete darkness..." " Illusions never change into something new. I am all out of Faith. Am i already Torn ? " " You were right. I dun wanna be here..." " i wanna travel through time and see what my future holds for me..."
its all just a dream. such a nice place. in the night. i hope i was a place, where i can sit. and let me mind run free. may i call it the inner space of mine. so beautiful tat i am simply loss for words. 3hrs countdown. to the first test.the oral.i should not be feeling tensed up because i took this before.take it easy, take it normally.be cool.be nice. be simple. i promised to leave that place in 8mths.i promised to give myself a new lease of life after this 8mths. i promised that i will not fail those who believed in me.i promised that i will fulfill my wish once i have finished what i came here to do. give me time. time is what i need to cross this next hurdle. and what comes next is what i have dreamt for.i will fight for my own success.i believe in those who believed in me.i trust those who placed their trust in me.i confided in those like those who confided in me.i need to work harder.i need to push myself. i need to do this and do that. theres so many distractions.pple need me here, pple need me there. i am not disillusioned. neither am i being indecisive. nor am i being sidetracked by my own distractions and problems that i have been facing. hAh~ i realised nxt friday is someone's big day hor... lol.. didnt realised that until i saw my calendar. filled with red spot, and i wondered why 2nd september has such a big red spot tat looks like a sun... now i know... hahaha.. okies.. i see i see... 4 more mths to my ultimate freedom. where my given wings can soar up high. spread far wide, and fly strong against the wind. the wings whom the Angel has given me. 4 more mths and these wings will realise their utmost potential. I believe as i walk through the door. I will see you there. As i spread my Wings, and join the Ranks in the skies above, i see You, and as i soar, i know that these wings that was entrusted by you will lead me to places that i have never seen in my life. Wings that is strong, and proud. Wings that is made of feathers of Trust and Confidence. A mind of Steel, and heart of cotton. I see Light.... Finally..... Sunday, August 21, 2005
Making changes may not come easily to you, but during moments like these, you're so inspired that any shifts in attitude and in your life will all seem to flow with Zen-like ease. It's all about discovery and transformation as you explore areas of yourself that need more expression, or old habits and points of view that need a radical overhaul. Whatever it is that needs a makeover, you can get it fixed up and looking great with ease. i wanna make use of the time i have now to say thanks to so many people. and to not say thanks. but to apologise. first on the list. is 2 very lovely cadets of mine. namely Alvic and Daniel.these 2 boys of mine. was my favourite specialists, and proved to me that rank does not matter in terms of capability and maturity. i saw them grew from being a corporal to sergeant and till some of them became staff. but i wanna say thanks to alvic and daniel, the 2 who amazingly survived my so called sudden "regime" and formed a brotherhood with me. because of this brotherhood.i believed it has caused some form of unhappiness amoung them. and i knew it. but i didnt expect that things got outta hand and became so rampant that till now it got into my ears last week. ok. erm. yah. i know my current DC, aka my ex-CO actualli condemn both of them when i left saying that they so called "inherited" my disease and were spreading to the rest of the specialists. well.. i know the disease was realli "land biased" and that term disease was realli uncalled for. and because of this they were also accused of slacking with me. ok wadever. let that DC aka ex-CO of mine say anything he liked, because when we worked, he was always sitting in the office enjoying air-cons!! and we were like scorching under the sun. and when he found us, its always when we are having our breaks, in the ncc room. wad ever lah.. its all in the past. so i wanna apologise to Alvic and Daniel.to both of them. i know when i was there, i brought some very complicated problems there, and when i left. i left all of them there. very sorry guys. But if i can make it up to you guys i will. cos as promised, i have attached 2 clts to PCSS in hope to make PCSS to next gold unit alrite ? and should u need me down, i will come down again to meet u all guys. coz yah... i am back to HQ, serving both Central and Sea again. coz HQ is where i belong in.thats where i grew up as a Specialist, an UDI, and eventually a CLT. HQ is my home. and i know its gonna break the hearts of my cadets at NCHS.lol! yah lah.. i will come and teach u all PDS lahs.. jux tell ur CO faster can liao.. okies... and erm... yes. NCHS is my new bunch of new babies... booo! i know i promised pizza la! can wait when i am there ?? boo.. so kan choing for wad... aiyoooh! if one day i am going crazy, its gonna be u guys who keep bugging me to come down and "screw" u guys up. and i also know u guys "like" my training alot hor.... (not being bhb here..) i believe this particular phase has some realli meaningful meaning to it lahs. "It's all about discovery and transformation as you explore areas of yourself that need more expression, or old habits and points of view that need a radical overhaul." its true though.. i am exploring into areas where i need more expressions, and my old habits and point of view needs some realli big change. and i should realli not go further into what "Nazi-ism""Communism" those kinda big serious shit... and i should now turn back and appreciate what our government has done for us even though they are realli c*a*$ when they start increasing this and that.. wad to do... boooo...... nothing can be done lah... 2molo i shall sign in very late lahs !! coz i am attending some gathering at ECP, so yah... but i promise i will be back home before 12 to blog okies ? and yes! 30% of my life revolves around the blog itself. and the time has come. to sign off now.... God bless all to those who read my blog. * ^ ^ * monday seems like a realli bad time to go anywhere though. haf to wait after the orals.. sigh.... anyway.. yah.. kinda stoned.i hope i am not a fool.i hope i can be more realistic.i hope i can stop cheating on myself.sigh. i dunno. sometimes it like tis. i feel that i am like cheating myself, blinding myself that i have to believe that, tat day i wished for will come.sadly i learnt that lesson once. i hope i wouldnt have to go through the same thing again. its the morning thou! a long day ahead.i shall not let my sad thoughts of yesterday hinder me anymore. its all in the past, and today is a whole new day, whole new experience and beginning. Be Optimistic!! Saturday, August 20, 2005
she looked happier now. she looked better now. it was a better choice for me. we walked our own ways and treated as if we never crossed each other's paths.... Its kinda sad tat things have to turn out this way. Although it was expected, but *sigh* no choice but to accept the fact that we have become strangers once again. thanks.... for hearing me out. thanks for everything in the past. i think i am better now. i have a better life now. i would like say thank you to you for being once part of my life and yah... i think i have a new life now. i know its of no concern to you. heh... and yahs... i think i shall sign off nows... tats what i suddenly tot about when i was having some gathering session with my relatives at my grand aunts place... heh.. nt all came.. but ok lah.. i didnt talk again, but to sit there and watch tv, and let my mind do the talking... and i am not some psychotic lahs !! blehs.... kks... bye and nites... gOOd and wonderful nites to all.. and God blesss..... *^^* so. this morning. i tot i was early.and i met haikal along the way. and asked if "she" would be coming. coz chances if she did, i would wish to clear things up. haikal said dunno. but he knew his senior would come. and yah. his senior is "her" so called "buddy". so immediately i knew, this forum was not for Sea district alone. it will be catered for all the 3 elements of Sea, Air and Land. ok. just when i tot running up to her would be considered "unlucky" i was sitting in front of them. and when commandant asked this question, " Is NCC = to SAF" my immediate answer was "NO". simply because NCC was viewed as an Youth Organisation. and not a military unit nor school representing the Armed Forces in any way. However its just a affiliation. tats all. Nothing in relations. and there was this Air CLT, said behind my back. Bullshit. there he was, behind me, said bullshit. i didnt know who he was. but all i know was that he was a ill-bred one. however i forgive him like what jesus did for us all. but what made me realli mad was that the disrespect that the Air Clts were giving Commandant. And i believed that he himself claimed himself as a "small fry" of the Corps as compared to the ranks of officers. But since he said he was a "small fry" but why did he NOT show a little respect for the Commandant himself ? he spoke his line, littered with flithy words like shit, and etc etc. its all obvious that he didnt even give respect to his own name and rank. let alone Commandant. He was complaining about cadets not giving him respect. I can understand why. Cause the way he talks.. the way he replied. simply does not reflect his maturity as an officer. He expected his cadets to give him respect when he himself did not respect his rank, his name and last but not least his men. IF simple basic respect was not even given to your men, will ur men fight for u ? NO ? And if this simple SAF theory you cannot understand, u still want to associate NCC to SAF when its own CLTS dun even know the SAF Proverbs of Pride, Welfare, Leadership, Courage, etc etc. and to that particular Clt, i would want him to know that He needs to grow up and also stop disgracing Air and NCC. Utterly disgraced... Such a ILL-BRED CLT and clearly reflects how his parents brought him up, and how he treat his men. He is one who will never earn and command my respect. even though he is my so called "senior". i will never have such a senior nor will i recognise him as one. A lesson to all.What i learnt in my OCS Experience. Leadership The first thing a young officer must do when he join the army is to fight a battle. And the battle is for the hearts of his men. i hope those officers who will read this blog can enter this into their brains and know this phase well. What NCC has given you ur rank is just an Empty bar. and i repeat myself. AN EMPTY BAR!. it means nothing. The value of the rank and bar. is determined to how much respect you can earn from it. Its not respected by u, but by ur men.If your men respect U, it means that ur rank has fulfilled ur purpose. In or out of uniform. they will respect you. because you have won their hearts, and you have now Commanded their respected rather then what you got urself, Demanded Respect which is utterly worthless. ok... so my day was kinda stuckup too. so yah.wished my friends and buddy a great weekend today then. hope the bad weather didnt hinder u guys from ur usual activities then.. coz my day is spoiled lahs... wad to do.. i was asked if i was depressed. what i can say is no. i am not depressed. heh... but sometimes i asked if i am really that inferior. I know i need more confidence and stuff, and i know i am no longer as strong as i was in the past. but thats all in the past. My weakness shall prove to be my strength one day. I shall fight for what i came here to do. Fight i will. but i am going to get them anyway. unless someone can convince me to go to the natural way.. which will take a longer time, while this is onli 1hr's business.... *haha!*   this is how the product looks like.. *tempted !!* ok getting high in the super early! aarrgghh ! and stomachaches.... brb in 10mins ! and i am back.. had a realli bad stomachache... i dunno wad i eat ytd lahs.. but i know the shit stinks like... crap... and later haf to go AMQ... siAn Ah!!!! tat product is cool.... sooo cool..... Friday, August 19, 2005
too bad.. i shall sign off nows.. and i leant that weichen has fallen ill. flu. so i dun wan to nag. she finds me naggy today. and tells me nt to tell her to jia you liao. got sian of it.. oks.. u take care dens... *gives moral support* PLUS i shall pray that u get well by 2nite and hope u can get back to prime condition to finish ur final lap! tAhs !! and erm... and i believed my previous so called "playfulness" has given me a payback time.. coz in class i used to have a bad habit, which was to play around with things which required batteries to operate, like the projector remote, which has laser on it... and yah.. i would use the laser and start pointing at everyone... and eventually the battery ran out lahs.. hmmms.. and yah.. iris was kinda like blasting at me. coz the projector didnt work cos the battery to the remote was kinda like dead lahs... so.. erm.. (iRIS i apologise lahs.. dun angry kaes.. know my mistake... =p) so the day carried on in the class... cutting magazines for some product matrix thingy.. hahahhaa.. and yah.. i CMI lahs.. very very kinda restless.. so my day.. very short today.. went around and got some "nice" snacks.. which is the cheese nachos and the salsa dip.. boo.. cost me $11 bucks !! and i am broke for the week... and it tasted like erm... bwg (bo wei gong AKA nothing to say) not realli that bad. and not really that super good lahs.. its average to me.. the salsa was a big dissapointment to my taste buds.. it said HOT. but it wasnt HOT at all.. it tasted like tomatoes mixed with some aiyah.. small chililes.. bOOO! not hot at all lahs!! cheat my money.. and i went home.. as usual.. dozed off in the train.. but this time.. i erm.. lost cue lahs !!!! so i slept all the way to JE, and the train actualli returned back to Bukit batok before i woke up and found myself at Bukit Gombak !!! = . = !!!!! Sheeesh... so i panicked lahs! got off the train and took the train back to JE and made sure i didnt sleep again.. hahaha.. and took the train back. i am now kinda like sick of 2molo's commandant's meeting lahs... the thought of it. makes me wanna go.. dozing off.. coz i know .. the 3hrs discussion will be kinda packed lah... which i hope that the things which i am going to implement wouldnt cause distress to the commander and the commandant.. hahaha! or maybe their hearts will say "this guy is kinda crazy or what.. give such a suggestion to get us all killed" juz ironed my sick no.3 unis and gt the sissy badges up. and erm.. yah.. den gotta iron the freakking berret. and still haven decided to wear which one yet.... both nice to wear lehs.. onli one looks nicer, while the other one is with me for 5yrs... both seasoned with sweat and erm... and blood.. hahaa pple started complainin that the blog is too childish for a guy like me.. so yah.. looking into possible new skins for this blog.. and yet i still dunno hw to make one for myself... AHH!! need o learn illustrator or what to get a new skin ups lahs. and i have to agree, that "ping pong" is rather childish. but bo pian (no choice) coz have to choose a new skin with graphics wads.. Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart. Proverb 3:3 i sense a incoming danger or somekind. emotionally or physically. coz my eyebrows has been twitching since i reached home.. something bad is about to happen.. later i will try and see if i can enter chinese words here.. shit.. i wanna type chinese words here lahs !!! "Day by day i grow stronger. I know i may sound like some Christian now. But i know when i believe in Him. He gives me Strength that even i have not experienced before. I see new life and new hope everyday. And each passing day is a new experience for me. I have found the New Hope." *shucks.. i sound like yoda again.. (found a new hope for the jedi we have, qui gon" hahaha!!!* ok i shall try entering chinese words now.. Thursday, August 18, 2005
and yah.. later 6pm i will be gg to see my remote control MC-30 !! hahahaha... its sooo nice feeling 2! but haf to bring the stupid cam go.. shucks.... nvm lahs.. jus bring it.. wad to do.. jus hope those crap shitters wun come and disturb it. before i suddenly blow up and bomb everyone.. and i will be $30 poorer.. and a long way to my PMCs (Portable Media Centres)... sigh.. sigh.... (shall nt greed for anything. but to hope and work for it...) i felt rather enlightened when i read the e-sword.i didnt feel realli realli down. coz after i read.i feel really good.like now... i feel light? lighted hearted prolly is the word, it gives a new direction and letting me know that. today is a new day to start with. and all those i have done yesterday is all history and is forgiven. i am starting to sound as if i am going to convert myself. but i shall not stop myself from sinking further into this religion so as to allow me to study it deeper and understanding its so called culture further. hmmm.. yah now.. i have completed what i set out to do for the last 2 weeks which was to make sure weichen gets her points, seems like she told me not to worry nows. yahs. simply its not about worry, its concern whether if the effort has been wasted or whats. since its done. then my work is done there, and it will be a rather long time before we contact each other again then ? i believe. i found this phrase rather true If you let people treat you like a doormat, you'll be quite Forgotten in the end. Proverbs 29:21 i realised i used to be really easy in the past. what they say and suggest, i will say. ok. lets implement it this way,and when pple bring things up, i will say again, hmm.. good idea/good suggestion, we shall do it his way. i think its time i take over and do the control. when i say i wan things to get it done. i make sure its done my way if not better unless a suggestion that proved itself worthy. some rules can be bent, some cannot. even if pple said"rules are made by men. we can always bend it" but the rules are made by men. enforced by integrity.carried out with pride. how can we bend it as if they didnt exist? sometimes i realli want them to understand the importance to adhering to rules and regulations in the organisation so that our butts wun get burnt. Forgive u all i will.Because the Lord have forgiven us all. I shall move towards the exam preparation status in about 2days. where i will move full swing into my preparations of the final lap. 2days.48hrs.for pride.for honor.for my future. Wednesday, August 17, 2005
i was updating the blog, when i realised i was late to catch the 6.35am SBS 98!... so i was yah.. kinda in a hurry throughout. stoned lah this morning... tats why... hmmms.. i was sitting in front of a female student. dunno shes from SA or AC, coz i know, blue skirt lahs... she was looking at me... i dunno why.. i was sitting in one corner quietly. looking around in a daze... and when i looked at her, she looked down.. too bad.. i alighted at Jurong east.. tooo baaaad.. lets see if we get to meet her again at the same place again. =p i know i mentioned something about nature this morning. but when i was on my way waiting for a train to bishan. i waited along the platform. hoping the train would be a comfortable one. but surprisingly. it was a train tat was decorated with vines on the handle bars and the floor has this stone platform stickers and the glasses had some aztec stone wall carvings.. its sooo nice!! heh.. =p so today. didnt do much, because i was pratically moodless. so yah. iris said i looked like some zombie walking around in class with a emotionless face. and yah... i was kinda like in some depressed state i dunno why i am feeling like this also. so during lunch time, iris showed me this programme which i think will give me enlightenments and hopefully nt as some "brainwashing" tool.. (i am not having doubts on ur intention. i know u wanna help me iris!!!). its just that i take extra precautions when talking to christians as not to be brainwashed by them. coz i had some scary encounters with some christians from city harvest and some unknown church in toa payoh... *scary....* so i downloaded them into my comp and exploring some chapters along. very interesting to read though. and i came across some quotes which i think is realli interesting with a "yAH hoR!!* click on my mind.. "Life's a corkscrew that can't be straightened, A minus that won't add and yah.. as what iris said. this erm.. author is abit dis-illusioned. but yah. most of the time. i am like that whats.. its just that you all dont realise it tats all. seems like theres at least something i can relate myself too.
well.. i do not have any intention of crossing over the line of my stand as a free thinker, but i shall stand as someone more like a religion "researcher". to understand the bible and move towards a new targetted religion i am interested in. "Islam". the next most interesting subject. i feel that. being wealthy as in rich with $, is not important. but being mentally wealthy, being spiritually wealthy and healthy is the most important. I know i lied to myself. But i seek the Truth that lies somewhere. And its through Time that will tell me the Answers i seek. "Is he truly a platonic friend? How do we set the boundaries? How easy is it to run into their arms when we are weak emotionally? Indeed there are many many ways to evaluate and to debate about this. We are encouraged to treat our dear brothers in Christ as fellow brothers. We love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.How does that apply in a single girl's life?I searched and questioned by dwelling in HIS word...Was platonic relationships part of the deal? How is it possible that one can see beyond the "levels of potential" in a single member of the opposite sex? How do we not think about the fact that he/she could be that life partner you might want to spend the rest of your life with? Do you believe that by proclaiming platonic status aka "never more than friends" can solve all the mixed up feelings that females feel inside our hearts? Have you ever thought about by saying this that we are relying on our self-efforts, instead of relying on our Lord's strength??" hmms.. seems like the word platonic relationship was seen as some sort of a indirect evasion tactic ? or another pre-emptive stance of expressing current intentions ? The term platonic seems to be refered as "Never More Then Friends" as referred to this paragraph. So did i eventually get the picture right ? I wonder if this person said was right. By declaring Platonic Status means that i wanted solve all the mixed up feelings tat she feel inside her heart ? I see Truth and Facts in this paragraph i have quoted. I see the word Platonic as a word that i learn. But didnt realise that it could have such and in-depth answers. Seems like i could have found the Answer i seek for this week for shall i say for the last 2 weeks when i first encountered this word from MSn ? So can i conclude that the declaration of the following sentence "Our relationship is merely Platonic" was seen as a pre-emptive decision of expressing her intention that we can Never be more then friends then ? I see... i dunno what to say next after reading the paragraph over and over again. But simply able to understand what it means. make me feel erm.... yah.. dunno.. i dunno if i should feel sad, feel angry, feel happy, feel wadever emotions that may relate to it. i simply dunno. And i too know. As mentioned there are many ways to determine the defination of the word Platonic... kinda like moody.dunno why leh.no mood at all.shit.sick of all these shit.suddenly no mood for no particular reason.*sigh*i believe something have to be done.i want to go places that i have never been to.i want to do things i have never done.i want to see things i havent seen.i want to experience life in a totally different manner. in touch of nature.the warmth of the sun.the sound of ruffling leaves.breezing wind.soft green grass.blue skies.nice orange mountains.where u can see the beauty of nature around you.isnt it nice to be in such a place with someone you love?imagine the scenery. how i wish i can be there. with someone.not just anyone.i simply dunno hw to continue here.i see this scene when i slept just now.tats why i wanna record it down.its simply so beautiful.i see myself there.enjoying the view.with my camera.took shots.sat down with that someone who got no face!!..shit..couldnt see the face of that someone.but i know its not a male.sat down. lied all the way back. and enjoyed the view.so nice... came across this song in my "ancient" playlist. and this time i will nt quote the whole darn song inside liao.i intend to feature "smart sentences" heh... Remember when, we never needed each other.The best of friends like Sister and Brother.We understood, we'd never be Alone.The night is long and Don't know what to say.I never meant to feel this way and Don't want to be Alone. Falling so hard so fast this time.What did I say, what did you do?I hear your voice.And I start to tremble.Brings back the child that, I resemble.I don't want to live this life.I don't want to say goodbye.Everything's changed, we never knew.How did I fall,in love ,with you? and yah.. those of u who bought their albums will know which song i am refering to. sometimes i wondered, why can i relate so much into their songs? sometimes its so true. sometimes its the fact of lives that we see. impressed by the song writer i have. "Seems like, the greatest things that have happened to me. Is not about being promoted up to the next highest rank.Its not about being the best in class.Its not about being prestigious.Its not about being famous or high profile. Its not about being this or that. But the greatest thing that ever happened to me was to know You.Ever since then. Power.Profile no longer matter to me.Because now. i know. These things are no longer important. Because they do not make me who i am now.Its You who made me who i am now today. You moulded a leader out of raw materials of trust and confidence. A leader who once greeded power and knew nothing about mutual trusts and confidence.What i am now. Is what you have given me.Because now i know inside what i hear and see inside me. I am all about You now. Simply because the little things you gave me. Made such an impact in my life.I know you cannot remember what you did.But i hope through all these you can slowly understand. Till the day when everything shall fall. Till the day i see my end coming. I know that You once made a impact in my life. So much so that it changed me entirely inside out." Works of the Mind of the New Leader Glenn Yong (2005)
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
den during lunch time i run off lahs.. went to attended ncc... so yahs.. super super chao keng... i dunno lahs... and erm.. 2day got one sai gang to do. and that is to get the time table for my fellow clt's proft test's schedual up. and yah. did tat in like 10mins flat.. and now... boring lor.. wad to do.. all so busy... so later i go my room and stare at the ceiling.... today i suddenly remembered this song its in chinese. but i shall translate in english for those who cant read chinese like me.. but to bluff my way out. hahahahaa.. the phases sounded kinda weird lah.. due to direct translation.. hahah! Everyday i am missing you Everyday i am asking myself When can i tell you how i feel? Everyday i am missing you Everyday stand by my heart To leave my best love for you and etc etc.... its written by Zhang Yu Shen... yahs. i know its abit cheena. but this song is realli nice and abit old school lahs.. haha.. okok i shall go sleep lahs... boring.. no choice mahs.. AND pls lah.. its jus a song lahs! dun anyway interprete it and get me into trouble lehs!! its jus a song!! it does not represent me in any way or any matter. thanks ah! hahaha byes! borings!!! seems like weichen was right after all... Orange is the next hit.... stoned.tired. Monday, August 15, 2005
ok... wish her all the best... i shall now log off my comp los! buais! ALL THE BEST FOR THE PAPERS !
looks kinda cool though....  hahahaha! Don't shirk your responsibilities. If you do, you're only hurting yourself. Messes can be just so darn, well, messy. Resist the urge to go around and tidy everything up, however. The more amorphous things are, the more possibilities abound. If you go around putting things in a box, you might just be cutting yourself off from some very lovely opportunities. Give the situation (and yourself) some room to grow and expand. If you can, do some yoga to stay flexible. More importantly, practice mental yoga at all times. i dunno what the freak today horo's is talking lahs.. all i know today is that i received some great news lahs! and i didnt push any responsibility okies! and erm.. yah.. 2day... for PIE, miss J. Xaxier played this video called Honey... *diaos..* i seen this stupidd movie before lahs! and shit.. gt no choice but to see it again.. so i was like almost dozing off lo... boring class. and 2day marks the 2mth period i had in this dreaded ITE, and erm.. and end to my first module.. craps...... and yah.. lots of things happen.. didnt made my day realli wonderful. but yah... but on the overall.. good and great day.. coz weichen gave me a news.. great enough to make myself keep going for the rest of the day.. hehs... k lahs.. 2day nth happened lahs... gotta write offs... * ^^ *
hahahahhahaa...... tats great.... great news.. heh... great news....... and her teacher wanted me to go her school and conduct some sort of a course there ? hhmmms... *ponder* maybe if i am paid to do so, prolly i will be there and give some talks and exercise for them... small group outings... heh.. yah la... weichen told me better nt to go and teach ? prolly by the time she would have left the school ? yah i agree. but then i think u wouldnt be interested if i were to be there conducting a "talk cock" lecturing session.. hahahaha... tats why... it would be more of a like learning experience for me to teach these pple to shoot properly. and to of course learn more things and expand "social circle" however i believe the $ is still a rather critical role for me to determine my decision to conduct the session itself. after all.. i will be teaching kids or students of my age or younger. so isnt so bad after all... hope to motivate them to take more pics and improve together.. and also to gauge their standards... *hopes they dun surpass me then. heh!* yah. i sound kinda selfish, but should i intend of move into this industry, i already know the standard wads and not worry that such small kids would one day break my rice bowls.. hahaha.. look forward to knowing the answer on whether she got her 3points of 1points lahs. interesting all 3 got in lahs.. prolly because of the Velvia and Provia colour enhancements.. whahahaha... interestings.. "To know that what i did was able to get you what you want. I feel happy for you, and grateful that you trusted and confided in my abilities. Without you. All these wouldnt be possible." Thank You weichen..... for entrusting me with a task tat allowed me to exercise my capablities and i am truly glad that you managed to get the points u need for ur A... hahahs.. shall sign off now before i write in 2nite agains.. * ^^ * Sunday, August 14, 2005
hahahahaha.. i finished my sai gang at 8.45pm today.. so actually wanted to take the 5-tonner out to marina bay mrt.. but when i heard that the 5-ton will leave at 10.30. i got so sians that i walk out to the station to take the 400A feeder service.. when i was there... fRIGGIN pissy... the queue was like sooooo long... and .... one look i tell u.. i decided to jog my way from marina south to marina bay mrt. and while jogging... i tot if i could test myself whether my stamina could last from marina south to the station. so instead of jogging, i ran all the way.. i took about 7-8mins to get there... and in my full camo. uni, long sleeves summore!! hahaha.. one step closer to my BAC (Basic Airborne Course) heh !! nvm... and i waited at the mrt station recovering my stamina while waiting for the rest of the CLTs to walk here... hahahahhaha..and they took 21mins to get from there to here...... and when we walk in.. everyone pratically "siam" from us.. because we smell like.... cow dungs.. hahahhaa... we are all perspiring mahs!! lol.... all the sai gangs leh! hahaha.... realised tat i didnt mentioned about the whao kao crap rite ? haha.. dun wanna say lahs.. so lame... oohhh.. cant wait for 2molo's that pics's results.. ahhahahaa.... if 3 all get in.. heh..... this shall be another small milestone for me... nt exactly a nice day. but a very tiring nite. tats all.. cos we enjoyed a nice display of fireworks plus tons and tons of sai kang. coz had to remove the stupid plyboards, empty rubbish bins, do this do that, carry this carry that... last time.. all these craps are done by cadets leh... now i officer still have to do all these shits... aahh!! *anger* feel like killing my officer... grr!! nvm... i am feeling better liaos.. juz hope 2molo to receive some realli nice news like someone gt her 3points and still rmb me lahs.. lol!!!! kks... i shall write off. "I hope You are not searching for clues for why i am feeling like this"
Saturday, August 13, 2005
today.. although i sleep for awhile onli.. i think i had a nice time there.. coz worked and played with the small kids there.. so cute lahs them.. i taught them how to use the bow and shoot with an arrow, in short. i taught them archery lo... hahaha... some of them actually got bull's eye lahs... kinda funni thou.. see their shocked faces as i believed that they didnt think they can do it... hahaha... looking forward to work with these kids 2molo... lol... they really made my day when they smile back and say thank you for teaching them.. hahaha... so sweet ah these kids... lol... and yah... its JK's bday yesterday. so i sacrifaced my chicken drumstick to him lehs... good rite me.. instead of having 3small ones. i had 2, while he had 5!! hahahahaha.... today still haven got the present from us.. nvm.. 2molo i shall ask him stand at the archery station and i shoot him with 17 arrows... hahaha.. jkjk!! kkz... weichen.. dun worry abt the $ on the pics lah.. its a small sum lah.. i dun wan u to spend all these unnessary $ lahs.... so u can get ur mobile and ur T cam soon.. hahahas. dun worry yahs. let me know abt the results asap kaes ? lol... i am excited whether u get ur 3points ornot... hahahahaha.... i shall write off now... "Temptations is part of a human emotion. And be Contented means to be enlightened by one's maturity and mentality. Materialism is nothing but greed. Overcome Greed and u will find yourself in a whole new world. Where everything is nice, calm and wonderful. Materialism leads to greed and jealously." Glenn Yong its now 6am. i wonder if God wanted to tell me something ? thats why i cant sleep ? i sorted out my thoughts when i was last awake at 3.30am. sat at my bed and wondered what went wrong...and of cos went thinking of some other things too. and yah.. i know i have found my answer i am seeking for. but it takes time. tats all i need. God said he has sent me an Angel. So is weichen the angel that God mentioned about to me ? Is god trying to tell me that the Angel has always been with me for so long till i didnt know and still kept trying ? i shall look deeper and see what my heart tells me.... it takes time too.... *ponders...* Artist: Backstreet Boys Album:Black and Blue Title: More Than That I can see that you've been cryin' You can hide it with a lie What's the use in you denyin' When what you have is wrong I heard him promise you forever But forever's come and go Baby he would say whatever It takes to keep you blind To the truth between the lies Oh I will love you more than that I won't say those words, then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say I will love you more than that Baby you deserve much better What's the use in holding on Don't you see it's now or never Just why you can't be friends Baby knowing in the end And I will love you more than that I won't say those words, then take them back Don't give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say Hey... There's not a day that passes by I don't wonder why we haven't tried It's not too late to change your mind So take my hand, don't say goodbye I will love you more than that I won't say those words, then take them back... this song came into my mind once again.. the lyrics nice and true... and i always wondered why i can realli feel the feeling inside all these songs... prolly i was hurt deep before.. i think so thats why i can feel the hurt inside some of these songs.... and yes. "The Truth lies between the Lines"
Friday, August 12, 2005
Is there a lifeguard on duty anywhere? If not, you may want to call on a dear friend, relative or your sweetie to stand watch while you hold your nose and dive in to some deep water. Old emotional business might be emerging that you thought was forever sunk from sight. Be brave as you explore what's coming up. To paraphrase the poet Rumi, where there is ruin, there is also hope for buried treasure. ahhh.. yes.. the horo's true today again.... Old Emotional Business.... when there is ruin, there is also hope for buried treasure. i think i found something/someone invaluable. hahahahaha!!! hmmms.... *grins!* ok.. i shall go sleeps... nites to all.. 2day i shall start praying that my prints that weichen is holding will make it to the top 10s and i mean all 3 of them get into top 10.... pray hards... and make sure she gets her 3points ah!! pray hard pray hard...... *updated earlier then reported time yahs...* hmmmmm... after that went to the carnival and cheat lunch.. hahaha.. went there and rot for 3hrs and run off.. free lunch provided and erm.. yah... look at girls... but chey.. look at them to pass time onli... so yahs...no even interested in them even though some of them looked realli pretty... from St Nic's... =p so waited for JK and ern to come before we went to play a shooting game..h hahaha.. we won! of cos la.. our team all is top notch 100m snipers leh.. vs our own ncc guys who didnt even pass the 100m range! hahahha... 4 casualties on the other team, while our team got onli 2 casualties.. hahahaha..... and yah... we were issued with these ear plugs.. which is ORANGE in colours... ok.. i think weichen will be "high" after looking at these ORANGE ear plugs rite ?? too bad la.. i used it liaos.. if i didnt use it, prolly i can give u mine.. hahahahaa! oh yahs.. this is hw it look like...  nice rites ?? and yahs... met up with weichen to give her the prints and went around the bugis area to see what to get for her frd's bday. in the end didnt get anything.. oh and yah! i told her what iris told me... but nt the entire lahs.. let just say its onli 40% of what she told me... i shall leave the essential ones out... until when i think i am more prepared to say.. slowly part by part lo.... hmmmmmmms.... people say that u develop feelings for someone when u see n talk 2 the person more and more often. oh wells.. true to a certain extend. i am starting to feel more comfortable and normal and easy when i am with my buddy.prolly will nt hide things like i used to do... =p YES. i admit. I like u as a friend. but as time goes. i cant gurantee what will happen in the future cos its what i cant predict and gurantee. thats what Laguna Loire said. For those who know this man. his so called character is very similar to me, and of course one of which it replicates my real life to a extend of 40%.... only its that Laguna Loire is not a real man tats all... but i aspire to be one like him. Who dreams lots and still work his dream around.. and Squall. someone who many of us males wanted to replicate him... and i can tell u.. the Taiwanese pop idol, Jay is also replicating him... so look whos more original... oh wells... *stomachaches...* i think i shall end here, and update a lil more in the later nights... back laters.... Thursday, August 11, 2005
grrrr.... nvm.. its all over. and if i am not wrong, i will get 80 and above.. i hope.... and during break this song came along.. its really old.. and i mean REALLY old.. its by westlife.. Artist: WestLife Album: Westlife (1999) Title: Fool Again Don't understand it I see our future it's written all over your face Tell me, what's the secret That you've been hiding When things would've take my place Should've seen it comin' Should've read the sign Anyway, I guess it's over Can't believe that I'm the fool again I thought this love would never end How was I to know You never told me Can't believe that I'm the fool again Deny the thought you were my friend How was I to know, you never told me Baby, you've seen it comin' When you were lonely When you needed me to be there Sadly, you never gave me Too many chances To show you how much I care Should've seen it comin' I should've read the signs Anyway, I guess it's over About the pain of tears ohooooo, if I could I wouldTurn back the time Oh yeah Should've seen it comin' I should've read the signs Anyway, I guess it's over the song's nice... reminds me of the times i had... lol... the lyrics is also rather meaningful... later write in again.. |
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it has been a long journey for me, to arrive where i wanted to belong for too long
been alone for some time. being hurt and quiet for too long.
the heart grows stone, and cold as time passes by, it grows weary...
awaiting for someone kind enough to give me warmth in this cruel and cold society we all live in
every now and then. someone appears.
every now and then, i see little hope that i might be able to find someone who understands me
but usually dashed when one was unable to love me for my flaws.
it has been tough so far.
really tough...
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