what about today.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

10:09 PM

it has been some time since i last blogged. i guess i didnt blogged was because i didnt have the time to do so.

and i was too busy to even care for my own thoughts.

as many would know. i have passed my driving for 2 months or so now. and slowly i tend to see the need for me to drive around as assignments get more in volume and definately i cant resist the need the a more convenient transport.

and as usual. i went head on challenging my old man once again. not because i am unfilial or what. but i always question his actions and his leadership to lead the family now. i challenge him because he no longer can think properly as i would think he can.

there are personal reasons for me being so offensive.

1) he didnt have the trust and confidence in me. in terms of driving, many can see that i can handle the road conditions better than alot of other "P" drivers out there. and definately i can handle any given road situation. (He refuses to hand over the car, and admits that he is picking on me for the sake of doing it, and he admits that he will do just that )

2) he questions every actions i take, and when i take my own alternative route, he likes to use his own ideas and reverse psychology crap to make me draw back my words and make me stand down. (too bad... thats not so going to happen. OVER MY DEAD BODY)

many also would know that i have a good temper. and because of that, many will choose to take advantage of it. but tides are changing, those who try to do so will face my wrath... (trust me... i am not what i used to be anymore and i WILL NOT HESITATE to rear my ugly side when theres a need) i am sure those who were under my command once know how i ugly i can be, of course they would remember when i broke a few ankles and made a few people cry for mercy in my drill sessions.

i feel that theres no point for me to even talk or even engage in any conversation when they do not even trust or have confidence in me. people who entrust me with their trust and confidence see that i can perform up or even exceed their expections. you have not failed me as my parents YET. but you have definately failed to command respect from me once again. and this time, gaining my respect back will not be as easy as you think it will be.

I have my own stand. i have my own ideals. i know many out there who MAY read this will find that i am being rebelious, etc etc... but if you were in my shoes now and tolerating that old man for so long, you will know why i am reacting to this or even reacting like this.

totally dissapointed in the old man.

da jie, if you are reading this. i really hope you can help me out now. this is the best time. i need all the help i can get.... seriously. if this continues. all those crap that i have accumulated inside will go volcano burst and hell will break loose once again....

seriously.... i am not joking this time...